Emotionless
by FanTube
Summary: What happens when Commander Spock's star student becomes his friend? What about when his mother decides she loves her? What happens when this mixed-breed student realized he's not as emotionless as he wants everyone to think? (I suck as summaries but please, give it a try! :) ) Spock/Maeve Spock/OC SpockxOC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any charachters except my own or yada yada but we all know that cause this is fanfiction.**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Okay! So I've wanted to do this for forever. So here it is.**

**I already have the entire story written out, but I'll be making changes as I change little things around if I need to!**

**Enjoy! :)**

**~:~:~:~:~**

I walked into the first class of my last semester before I got my PhD in both Astrophysics and Xenobiology with my Masters in Chemistry, also having minored in Xenoanthropology-that sure was a mouthful. It was 0713 hours and class would be starting in a mere 17 minutes.

It has been four and a half years since I came to the academy after I graduated from high school at 17, and I spent every single semester-including summer vacations-studying, working my butt off to work towards my goal, and here I finally was.

Neither of my parents had wanted me to join Starfleet-especially my half-Vulcan, half-Human mother. My Betazoid father, however, saw that deep in my heart, that was what I truly wanted and although he didn't like the idea, he understood that I truly felt this was where I was supposed to be.

The night before, my father and I talked for the first time in almost two weeks. He called me from our home in Dublin at a very late hour for him. While it was dinner time for me, it was 0100 hours for him. He told me he and my mother got into an argument just before she headed off to Vulcan to visit her Vulcan mother. He assured me that it had been planned for weeks, that it was one of her bi-monthly trips, but I wasn't too sure I believed him. I was almost certain her last visit was barely over a month ago. Although my mother was half Vulcan, she was prone to bursts of fury in which she either burst at the person who was causing her so much pain or she left for Vulcan-often for at least a week.

I missed my father. It was always difficult for me growing up-emotionally, at least. As I was 1/4 human, it was slightly difficult to hide my emotions. As I was 1/2 Betazoid, it made my emotions even more difficult for me to handle as my race did not control their emotions and they could sense (as well as take on) the emotions of others. And to make things even worse-as I was 1/4 Vulcan, my emotions raged deeper and more violently than anyone else. Unfortunately, the genetics regarding control were nonexistent in me, as instead I was gifted with their green blood, pointed ears, extreme sensitivity to touch, and the ability to mind-meld (which I probably only had from the Betazoid ability to do something very similar, though at this time I had never created that bond, since the bond was only ever made with a mate). Though it was very difficult for me growing up, and I had many emotional issues, my father was always there to help me through.

My mother, oh goodness, don't get me started with her.

And despite what you may think, I mean that in a very loving way.

I was closer to my mom than I was to anyone. She and I had a very special bond. I had always looked up to her-respected her above anyone else. She typically has a lot of control over her emotions, and I had been able to feel each and every one. There had been many times where my mother and I had engaged in a telepathic link very similar to a mind-meld so she could teach me the Vulcan way of control as best she could. Although my mother had never said "I love you," to me, I knew she did. She did everything she could to keep me happy. Her love was unspoken.

She was who I always wanted to be.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts about my parents that I hadn't even acknowledged the Commander, who had been sitting at his desk since I walked in.

"Greetings, Cadet O'Grady," the Commander spoke. I jumped, dropping my Padd onto my desk from the shock.

"Commander Spock! My apologies, I-"

"It is agreeable to see you are taking my progressive Xenobiology course. I have also noted that you are taking my progressive Astrophysics course as well as my advanced Xenoanthropology course," he told me. I felt the content seeping through his barriers slightly. I have had Commander Spock as my teacher in many of my courses for the past year and a half, and we have become almost what I would call friends. We have spent many nights in each other's company this past eighteen months, given that I had personal study in both Xenoanthropology as well as Vulcan History and Culture with him for three hours on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. We have come to understand one another as well as each other's interests.

"I am, sir. And I also have personal study with you Wednesday and Friday evenings for Vulcan History and Culture," I told him with my thick Irish accent, made even thicker from the sudden strong emotion of shock. I felt a small spark of happiness emanate from him quickly before it hid itself in the shadows-dulling under his Vulcan mask once more. My small smile waned. It made me upset when he did that-I wanted us to be friends, but I felt I would never get anywhere when he refuses to allow his human half the pleasure of allowing his emotions to seep through-if only slightly.

"I find that rather... satisfying, as you are by far my most distinguished student in all aspects,"he admitted. "And I have noted that your presence has deeply effected the class. I find that when you are present, others strive for perfection exponentially more than the students within my other classes." I felt my jaw drop slightly at his personal confession, and I went to respond only to be interrupted by another student opening the door. I glanced at the clock.

Five minutes till class. People would definitely start filing in now.

"Thank you very much, Commander. I find that I look forward to your classes more than any other," I admitted with a small smile as I sat down, tugging lightly on my flowing, naturally loosely-curled, deep brown, waist-length hair.

Something deep in my heart told me this semester was going to be _very_ interesting.

~:~:~:~:~

"Oh shut up," I said, rolling my eyes. "Many girls _don't_ fall for your charm."

"Oh, really?" Jim asked, only half-joking. "Like who?"

"Me," I told him. My good friend immediately tried to turn his charm back on-as he always did during these conversations-to get at least _some_ sort of response out of me.

"Jim, leave Maeve alone," I heard Leo defend as his hand tugged me away lightly by the hem of my Cadet Uniform and we began walking. "She has Xenolinguistics next and you know how much she loves _that_ professor. I'd say it'd be best if you sent her off in a good mood."

"Aw, come on, Bones, she knows I'm joking!"

"And she is standing right _here_," I interrupted, giving Jim a look. "Would it not be logical just to _ask_ her why she gets upset when you begin your fabricated advances?"

"What's got your panties in a wad?" he asked me. I sighed.

"I apologize," I admitted. "I find I did not get much rest last night. I did not mean to be off-putting."

"Well, you could make up for it with a drink," Jim declared with a grin.

"Very well," I granted with a small sigh.

"Hey, you know, we've been friends for the entire three years I've been here at the academy, and I still don't know why you talk like that."

"'Talk like' what, Jim?"

"Like you're a robot or something."

"If you insult me one more time, Jim, you will be incapable of walking for the rest of your life," I glared.

"I don't think he meant it as an offense, Maeve," Bones interjected. "We both know you're not a robot, you have at least _some_ emotion, you just speak very maturely. I've been wondering the same thing... Is it your academics?"

"It is my mother. This is the way she speaks, and, growing up, I wanted to be just like her. So I have found that I have adapted to her way of communication. _Is_ it off-putting?" I asked, my brows furrowing.

"No, I think it's sexy."

"Jim," Leo growled before we split apart to our own separate paths, heading to class.

~:~:~:~:~

"That-that-_woman_ is infuriatingly ludicrous!" I ranted to Nyota as we stepped out of Xenolinguistics. "If it weren't for us, she wouldn't know how to read _Klingon_!"

Nyota laughed, "I don't understand why you always get so mad about it, it's always fixed once we say something."

"I just don't understand why Starfleet would allow such a person to become a _professor_! She teaches almost everything _wrong_!"

"You just miss Commander Spock," she teased.

"Because _he_ could teach-_well_, too," I grumbled.

"Ranting about your Xenolinguistics teacher again?" I heard Jim's voice from behind us.

"It's difficult not to... Jim, stop staring at Uhura's ass," I said, rolling my eyes. I knew she hated that. "A way to a woman's heart is not through staring at her womanly curves."

"Why is it that you only sound normal when you're mad?"

"And by 'normal,' you mean like you? I assure you, Jim, I sound nothing like _you_ no matter the state of mind I'm in."

"What class do you have after this?" Jim asked us, ignoring my comment (as well as the snickering Nyota) before he turned to our other approaching friend. "Hey Bones!"

"I have lunch period, then no classes until tomorrow morning," I said, answering Jim's question.

"I have lunch period now too," Nyota said. "You want to sit together?"

"That would be gratifying," I told her honestly and she motioned for me to follow her.

"Ladies?" I heard from behind us.

"Leo?" I asked.

"May I join you? Jim apparently 'has plans,' and I don't _want_ to know what he's been up to recently."

"Of course," I agreed, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Jim's been going off like that a lot recently," Uhura said. "I have a bad feeling he's up to something."

"He's always 'up to something,' Ny," I told her.

"Ain't that the truth?"

~:~:~:~:~

"Hello, Commander," I greeted after I gave a small start. I had just run in to him on my way out of the dining hall after dinner.

"Greetings, Cadet," he said.

"Sir, I'm glad I ran into you. I find I have a few minor questions regarding the assignment you gave in Xenobiology," I admitted.

"Very well," he said. He appeared to think for a moment. "Perhaps you could meet my at my office approximately one hour from now?"

I glanced at my watch. Just enough time to go to my room, message each of my parents, gather the assignment, and get to his office at a fairly leisurely pace.

"That would be wonderful, sir, thank you," I told him, unable to keep my smile from shining through. The Commander's head tilted slightly and I felt the curiosity radiating off of him.

"You are joyful," he stated, though it was obviously supposed to be more a question.

"Yes, sir. I was expecting to have to seek you out, but this is a much better option. And, I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, I find spending time with you very enjoyable. I find it is often informative as well as entertaining. Besides, who doesn't like spending time with-" I cut myself off. I couldn't very well say 'friend', could I? Besides, Spock doesn't understand what a 'friend' is, does he? Not, at least, in human terms. And I highly doubt that he would agree that we were _friends_. I'm his student, it would be frowned upon by the superiors of Starfleet. "Er-well, sir, I apologize for holding you up. You must eat and I must run back to my dorm to contact my parents quickly. I will see you at approximately 1830 in your office?"

"Indeed," he agreed before I hurried off, ignoring his raised eyebrow and the feelings of curiosity, content, and-oddly enough-hope. What in the world was he hoping for?

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Please, I am BEGGING YOU for some constructive (but KIND!) criticism as well as plenty of praise!**

**Thanks for reading! I'll publish again soon! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1!**

**~:~:~:~:~**

"Come in," I heard the Commander's voice call. I walked in and sat next to him on the same side of his desk, as we always did when we were working together, setting my Padd with the assignment onto the desk before us.

"Good evening, Commander," I greeted with a smile.

"Good evening, Cadet," he greeted as well. We went straight to work with my minor questions-mostly about very particular aspects of the most difficult questions-and we were a little over halfway through the work when suddenly, I noticed the Commander looking at me, the same mix of curiosity, content, and hope that he was hiding under his Vulcan mask as earlier.

"Is something the matter, Commander?" I asked him, a little unsure.

"No, Cadet. However, may I make a small inquiry?"

"Yes, sir, anything," I agreed, confused and curious.

"Earlier when we were outside the mess hall-" I felt my face begin to heat up, knowing where this was going, and I willed my green blush away. I have not revealed that I was Vulcan to anyone since entering the academy. Not because I was not proud of being partially Vulcan-in fact, I was very proud of being partially Vulcan-but because I found I did not wish to be ridiculed in a similar fashion as I had been growing up in Ireland. And I tried to avoid a repeat of such occurrences, keeping my ears strategically covered at all times, and making it known I did not want to be touched-by anyone-at any time. "You stopped yourself from saying something. May I inquire as to what you were going to say?"

"A friend, sir," I told him. "I was going to call you my friend."

He was silent for a long while, confusion, curiosity, hesitance, and (oddly enough) happiness was radiating from him.

"We have spent an abundance of time together this past year and a half, and I find I have begun to think of you as a friend. However, I stopped myself because I realized that I could not call you a friend unless you agreed to the friendship, and I assumed that because it could very possibly be frowned upon by highly ranked Starfleet officers, you would not agree to a friendship, thus I stopped myself," I told him honestly. I felt a small flash of hurt before it was buried under his Vulcan control, but I felt it. I couldn't help but look at him, slightly shocked.

"Cadet, I assure you, that is not the case," he began honestly. "I find that I also find your presence... delightful. I enjoy the intelligent conversation as well as the slight banter we sometimes get into. I find I also enjoy the minor, irrelevant conversations we get into... I have also found your insight to human behavior very helpful in my endeavors. Contrary to your belief, I would be very pleased to call you my friend."

I couldn't stop the blush as embarrassment as well as shyness that spread across the tops of my cheeks and my ears. I looked to my lap in an attempt to hide it, but when I felt his shock, I knew he caught it and my blush deepened.

"Thank you, sir... given the circumstances, perhaps instead of calling each other by formalities, names would be more appropriate in friendly or private settings?" I asked, my blush only deepening further at that.

"Indeed, Cadet."

"Call me Maeve," I asked. "Please."

"Then you must call me Spock."

"Very well," I agreed. At this point I knew I was greener than leaves on trees. "I must apologize, Spock. I know you are curious... I should not have hidden that my mother is half-Vulcan, but I found when I was young, constant ridicule rendered me emotionally compromised. I spent much of my time angry, or crying, until eventually I was depressed. I have deep, strong emotions, like Vulcans, and I have found that the mixing of the emotions of others, which began during adolescence, as it does for Betazoids, and the human urges to express my emotion, does not make for an easy combination. I wished to prevent more comments of 'mutt' and the like to end, so I may not be in that kind of emotional distress once more. I can not hide that I am Betazoid, given my eyes, nor that I am human, given that this has been my home my entire life... I found it was difficult to hide my being Vulcan... Purely because of my pride in my Vulcan heritage. I understand that you are also very proud of your Vulcan heritage, and therein lay why I must apologize. I did not mean to seemingly blatantly ignore something that means so much to the both of us." I couldn't read Spock's emotions once I was done speaking. I had felt anger radiating from him when I spoke of ridicule, but since then... nothing.

"I understand that it is difficult for you to open up in such a way when our races are often so prejudiced against when they are mixed. It was logical to keep your Vulcan heritage hidden to avoid ridicule, as it would negatively affect your emotions. I do not blame you. There is no reason to apologize, Maeve," he assured me. I blushed again as my heart jumped slightly when he said my name. I couldn't help it... It sounded so right coming from him.

"Thank you, Spock," I said with a small smile. I felt a flash of a warm emotion coming from him before it disappeared. I felt a flash of disappointment through me before I pushed it aside-he was raised to ignore his emotions, I couldn't let myself get upset by it.

And yet, here we were, _friends_. A very _emotional_ thing.

"Maeve, I've been meaning to ask you... You are aware that I have been programming the _Kobayashi Maru_ test, are you not?"

"I am," I told him, unsure of where this was going.

"You are, as one of my most distinguished, highly qualified for this proposition. I understand that you have been fascinated with computer sciences as well, and I believe if you helped me work on the test, any flaws in the programming I may not have noticed could be fixed. I also thought it would be a very beneficial learning opportunity for you," he admitted. I was shocked to say the least. "Perhaps we could take time Wednesday evenings to work on it if you accept my offer."

"Spock, I'd love that!" I exclaimed, a big smile on my face. I couldn't help it with all the excitement that suddenly burst through.

"Very well," he agreed, a minute smirk on his lips. "I shall see you next week, then."

Spock and I spent the next hour talking about random things that I brought up and working on my assignment. I tied my hair up into a high ponytail once it got warm in the room, exposing my pointed ears, deciding it would now be what I did during our studying. I would never hide from him in such a way again.

~:~:~:~:~

It was on a night such as this, almost two months later, that there was a knock at Spock's office door.

"Come in," Spock called. Suddenly, a beautiful older woman walked in carrying what looked like an overnight bag.

"I'm sorry Spock, am I interrupting? I asked Commander Pike where I could find you and he brought me here," she told him as she walked toward us. I couldn't stop myself from getting up and rushing to her to take her bag from her hands at the same time Spock stood to do the same.

"Mother," he greeted, though I felt a small wave of annoyance coming from him. _Why is he annoyed to see his mother?_ I wondered as Spock's mother smiled at me and gave a small thank you. I felt a wave of gratitude crash over me, emanating from the beautiful human woman in front of me. "I didn't know you were coming. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Spock, I know you don't like surprises, but your father came here for a meeting with Earth's ambassadors and I told him I would stay with your for the next few days before we head back. I've missed you," she told him. "I figured since it's Thursday, I'd only have to wait through tomorrow and then we could have the weekend."

"Indeed," he agreed with a small sigh as I ushered her into the seat I had previously been sitting in.

"Who's your friend, Spock?" she asked with a grin toward me.

"This is my most distinguished student as well as my friend, Cadet Maeve O'Grady," he introduced. I smiled widely at her, holding back my blush of content and excitement from hearing Spock call me 'friend'. I felt a sudden wave of shock as she looked at me before it was replaced by a happy grin.

"Such a beautiful young woman, Spock, you never told me she was so _beautiful_," she complimented, making my face flush slightly and my heart pick up speed. Spock's talked about me with his mother?

"I have told you of her immense skill in my classes as well as her impressive credentials, and her valued friendship. I did not know you wish to hear of her appearance, as you have never asked if she was aesthetically pleasing or not," he told her, only making my face flush more as she sighed in good humor, turning back to me. Was Spock indirectly agreeing that I was beautiful?

"I'm Amanda Grayson, Spock's mother. Are you half-Vulcan too?" she asked, glancing at my pointed ears.

"No, ma'am. I'm only 1/4 Vulcan," I told her with a small smile. I couldn't help but be honest with the woman, deciding to elaborate. She seemed... easy to talk to. And she had a loving motherly aura about her that I had never felt in such a way before. "Though I try to keep it on the down-low. Unfortunately, my mixture of races often traps me in a sea of barbarity from other students, and as I am half-Betazoid, I find I have an extreme lack of control over my emotions. My Vulcan part is the only part of myself I can hide, as my eyes are black and too sensitive for contacts."

Unlike Spock, when I told her of my issues with others about my mixture of races, I felt utmost despair as well as understanding instead of anger.

"Poor dear," she said slightly before she brightened, the sadness she had earlier suddenly pushed aside as she grinned again, happiness and excitement permeating the air around her. "Maybe you could join us this weekend!"

I couldn't hide my shock, the shock and... nervousness? Emanating from Spock made my heart stutter and made my knees weak, making me stumble. Such strong emotions in this room.

"I-I can't just intrude in such a way, ma'am-"

"Please, just call me Amanda," she insisted as Spock's intense shock hid itself once again, helping me steady myself. At this point, he understood how his emotions effected mine. The stronger they were, the harder they were for me to hold alongside my own. She couldn't help but continue, her overwhelming excitement making me almost dizzy. "And you wouldn't be intruding. Spock's already told me so much about you, I want to learn all about you myself. He's only ever spoke of you as his student until recently, when did you guys become friends?"

"Almost two months ago," Spock answered. "Maeve told me she thought of me as a friend, despite the gap in ranking, and I agreed. We've spent ample amounts of time together, and I find her presence both soothing and enjoyable."

"That's wonderful, Spock," Amanda said with a grin. I couldn't stop my face from flushing further from Spock's compliments. "I'm so glad you have such a wonderful young lady to spend your time with!"

"Excuse me," I intervened, my face green beyond belief. A wide smile accompanying it. "But I find all of these compliments and emotions are much more than I have handled in many years. I find I am both dizzyingly content as well as breathlessly ecstatic, and I must thank you both. However I find it is almost too much to handle at this moment in time as I am unaccustomed to such praise."

I felt a strong streak of guilt and sadness shoot through Amanda, tugging at my heart.

"It was merely an observation," Spock countered. "Not a compliment."

"Spock, if you say something nice about a person, something positive, it is, in fact, considered a compliment," I informed him, a small content smile on my face instead of the wide grin from before. "At least according to human nature."

"Then you are very welcome," he told me with a small smile after only a small hesitation in which he processed the information. I felt the content radiating off of him and realized he wanted me to feel his content knowing he made me happy. I grinned, looking down at my feet.

"This is wonderful," Amanda said. I looked up to her as she giggled, love, adoration, happiness, hope, and more excitement exposing itself to me. "Please come with us this weekend, Maeve. I really want to get to know you."

I was unsure for another moment before I felt Spock's minute hope as well.

"I'd love to, Amanda," I told her, suddenly feeling a resounding joy.

It was then that I realized I haven't felt so accepted and loved by anyone until that moment.

And that made my grin grow ever larger.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Pretty please comment! Lemme know your thoughts-good or bad! (But if it's bad, be gentle, please or I'll cry!)**

**Thank you SO much for reading! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**I'm so sorry for the delay guys, I have a whole excuse and everything but y'all probably just would like the story, so I;ll just go ahead and give it to you ;)**

**And to my lovely reviewers...**

**1) Thanks so much, Toolazytologin (Love the name btw teehee XD ) I'll DEFINITELY keep it up for y'all!**

**2) Thank youuuu Vulcanlover12! I hope it stays as cute as these past few! X3**

**3) Oh my gosh, LostHazel, are you kidding? I LOVE hearing that, and I bet you did PERFECTLY in your competition! Good luck if you have another round coming up and keep me posted! It means the world to me when my writing touches people, and I PROMISE I'll keep writing! I'm so glad my writing was able to help :')**

**I hope you all love this chapter! X3**

**~:~:~:~:**

Friday flew by in a tangled mess, I had back-to-back classes all day until 1600 hours when I had a two hour break before my personal study with Spock in his office. I headed straight to my room I shared with a beautiful, quiet, scholarly young human Indian girl named Nina. She, aside from Spock, was the only person who knew of my true heritage.

"Gosh, Maeve, all these classes are going to wear you down!" she exclaimed and I sighed. "Goodness, you never rest, do you? I've never seen anyone work as hard as you. How do you even get all your work done?"

"I spend all my free time working on that which I need to complete. It helps that I have the aid of my professors as well as some previous knowledge on some subjects, and I need less sleep than humans because of my mixed heritage," I told her, falling onto the bed. "However, I suppose a small nap wouldn't be disagreeable."

She giggled from her spot at the desk, "What time would you like me to wake you?"

"You don't mind?" I asked her.

"Of course not, what time?"

"1715 hours please. I'd like to take a shower and grab a bite to eat before I have to go to personal study at 1800 hours."

"Okay, you nap and I'll wake you at 1715 hours exactly," she told me as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

~:~:~:~:~

"Maeve, wake up, I'm almost done making us your favorite dinner," she told me, excited. I smiled at my friend.

"You'll make a wonderful mother one day, my friend," I told her with a smile as I slowly woke up. She giggled once again, setting her amazing chai tea with cream and sugar on the bedside table in the hopes of the caffeine helping me wake up a bit. "Oh, you _are_ lovely."

"Come on, hurry up," she teased, heading back to the small kitchenette. I chuckled, running my hand through my hair, pulling it to one side of my head as I sipped at the wonderful tea my friend had made me. "And you know I'll never forget you're not about meat, so I only made mine with chicken. Yours has peas and mushrooms, and I'm finishing the fruit salsa too."

I groaned in happiness. I loved Nina. She and I have known each other for the past four and a half years. She was also working toward her PhD in both Xenobiology and Xenoanthropology, but she was taking the whole six years to do it. Her and I have done things like this for each other since we first met. We just clicked, really. We became instant friends, both respecting and understanding each other. I threw my hair up into a bun before I grabbed my tea and walked into the kitchen, sitting at the small bar.

"Thank you very much," I told her with a smile.

"You know," she said thoughtfully, setting the pasta in front of me, before heading off to finish up with the fruit. "You act most human-or Betazoid even-when you wake up. I think I like you best that way."

I felt a small pang in my heart before it disappeared. She didn't mean she disliked my slightly Vulcan nature with most things, just that she liked my human-like nature even more.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I love you the way you are, of course, but I can tell it hurts for you to be so stoic all the time. You're a happy girl under all that. It's just sad that I'm the only person who gets to see it."

I was silent for a while as I moved to help her cut the strawberries-she hadn't gotten to those yet.

"Do you wish for me to express myself in that fashion more?" I asked her, starting to wake up as she tossed the grapes and strawberries into the bowl.

"I wish for you to be more like who you really want to be. I want you to be you and I don't want you to be afraid of it," she told me honestly. "You shouldn't be afraid to go out with your hair tied in a bun that won't cover your ears. You shouldn't be afraid to show who you really are. It's just sad. I don't like it."

I thought about what she said as I washed my hands before I grabbed the bag of cinnamon pita chips and tossed them into a bowl, setting them on the counter next to the salsa.

"I'll see what I can do," I told her honestly. I found I sometimes missed the happy-go-lucky girl that I used to be before I reminded myself that I was stoic to help myself cope. So no one could hurt me. But maybe... just maybe... I was safe here.

"You have to remember, Maeve, you're not the only alien here. And not the only mixed-breed either," she assured me, giving me a look.

I nodded quietly, digging in.

"This is wonderful, Nina," I told her, smiling. "Thank you."

~:~:~:~:~

"Spock? I must ask you something... As a friend," I told him once out Personal Study session had finished. My heart was beating faster, and I knew he could hear it with his Vulcan hearing, the confusion and curiosity was making my nerves go through the roof. "My roommate has brought to my attention that I am what humans consider very stoic. And she has also brought to my attention that when I first wake up, when I'm still too tired to care about propriety and the like, I'm very... human-like. And she also told me that she felt it was a 'glimpse into who I really was,' per se..." It was quiet for a moment and I dared to look up for a moment only to see Spock's confusion slightly written on his face. "What I was wondering, was... If I were to be _that_ person, the one I used to be _before_ coming to the academy... I would basically be a different person, and... would you still want to be my friend?"

There was a silence for a stretch, and his silence was making me uneasy. It felt like years before he spoke.

"I fail to understand how you being who you really feel you should be makes you a different person altogether," he began. "If you still have the same morals and interests, I do not see why that should affect our relationship in any fashion."

I couldn't stop the grin as it grew upon my face.

"Really?" I asked, ecstatic.

"Vulcans do not lie," he answered needlessly.

"Thank you, Spock, please send a message to me through my Padd when you know where your mother would like to meet tomorrow morning," I told him, and he nodded as I ran from his room, not caring that my hair was still tied into a high ponytail for all to see my ears and the flush of green shining upon my cheeks, letting my happiness shine through.

I was bounding back to my room when suddenly I ran past a corner and skidded to a stop, tumbling over in order to avoid smashing right into-"Amanda?"

"Hello, Maeve," she greeted with a giggle.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright? I'm so sorry, how clumsy of me, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry, dear, I was just on my way to see if Spock was finished for the evening... Is everything alright?" I felt the concern rolling off of her in waves.

"I'm _wonderful_, Amanda," I told her with a grin.

"Good," she chuckled. "You seem to be in very high spirits this evening."

"I am," I agreed. I didn't understand why, but Spock's declaration that he'd be my friend even if I changed made me happy. So happy, in fact, that it gave me not only the motive, but the _determination_ to be who I knew I had been unhappily hiding for years. I am who I am, and if the people closest to me still loved me no matter what, then I was going to be exactly who I wanted to be no matter the obstacles. "Oh! Amanda, would you mind telling me where and what time you wish to meet tomorrow morning?"

"Perhaps 0800 hours by the fountain?" she asked me, happiness and excitement bursting through her heart.

"Sounds _perfect_," I said, leaning to kiss her on the cheek quickly before running off. "Thank you! See you tomorrow!"

Amanda just stood, grinning widely at the beautiful young woman as she ran away, waving her goodbye. She didn't even realize (like Maeve) that her son was watching the exchange from the end of the hallway, where he had been walking to get to his room.

And, of course, neither of them saw the look of intrigue, nor the hidden happiness, upon his face as he stared after the running woman.

~:~:~:~:~

"So that's it, then?" Nina asked me.

"So what's it?" I asked her, unsure.

"You're not concerned about it anymore? At all? You're just going to go out there, ears blazing?"

"Well... I never said I wasn't _concerned_," I began to explain, my face beginning to heat up. "I know it's going to be difficult, and I know there will be some ridicule and maybe even some friends who get upset that I didn't tell them, but... If they're really my friends, they'll understand, right?"

Nina smiled, "You're exactly right. Just know that no matter what, I'll be here for you, okay?"

"Of course."

"Even if one of your friends says or does something stupid or doesn't understand for some stupid reason. Just know I'm proud of you for being who you want to be, and I don't hold anything against you, nor will I ever."

"Thanks, Nina. I'm just glad I won't have to face them until Monday. Maybe it'll help me remember to break out of my shell."

"I think you'll do perfectly. And Amanda seems like just the right person to help guide you. You'll be fine. And remember what I said, I'm not going anywhere!"

I giggled a little again before nodding, "thank you, Nina."

"You're welcome," she said with a smile. It was silent for a moment as Nina looked back down to her textbook. "I want cookies."

I laughed.

"I'll make them," I told her. "You keep making some good grades."

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Thanks a TON for reading all this, guys it really means a ton!**

**And please please PLEASEEEEEE give me some feedback! Let me know what you like and what you think should maybe be adjusted? But please be kind! I need tender love and care! Haha thank you all again for being so lovely!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Soooooo this may not be going exactly as everyone wants, but don't worry! You'll still get the important details!**

**Also, sorry for taking so long, I'm still looking for the right college and I'm graduating in 2 months so...**

**Vulcanlover12: Here ya go! XD**

**Lost Hazel: Wow, congrats! Thanks, I felt it was something that had to be done sooner or later, and I much preferred sooner! Haha! Aww sorry about making you want cookies... I hate it when that happens...**

**Guest: I loved the idea of all of them getting together! :) **

**~:~:~:~:~**

"God, Nina, I don't even know what to say! This weekend's been such a blur, Spock's mother is absolutely _wonderful_!" I exclaimed as I made chai tea for the two of us.

"At _least_ tell me the basics," she begged with a giggle.

"Well, Spock and his mother get on really well. I was surprised to see he's actually a bit of a mama's boy, really. He _loves_ keeping her happy."

"That could be a good thing because it shows he has respect for women, but it could also be a bad thing because maybe he looks to her to baby him," she warned.

"Nina, Spock's a Commander of Starfleet who lives _light-years_ away from his mother," I reasoned with a smirk.

"Right, sorry, that was stupid," she said, shaking her head as she began drawing her henna design on herself. "Continue."

"His mother is funny and _so_ kind and considerate. She was very supportive of me and my decision to open up. And she told me a little secret about Spock," I told her with a smirk. She immediately stopped drawing on herself and looked up at me.

"What is it?"

"He dances."

"_What_?"

"I'm not kidding! She used to have him take lessons for all sorts of partner dancing, waltzes, sambas, tangos, practically _everything_. Apparently she realized women appreciate dancers," I told her teasingly, unable to stop the small giggle that emanated from my lips.

"Yeah, especially women who dance. You're freaking _made_ for each other," she muttered so I wouldn't hear her while I sifted through the fridge for the cream.

"Hmm?" I asked, pulling my head out of the fridge.

"Nothing, keep going," she said a little too quickly, getting back to her henna. I just brushed it off.

"Anyways, Saturday we met at the fountain, then we made our way to the coffee shop, then his mother wanted to window shop, and we had a light lunch and we went to see a ballet before dinner, and then we parted ways. Pretty uneventful, really, we just had a lot of fun and Amanda asked a never-ending stream of questions... Amanda purposefully left Spock and I alone, though, and it was very... pleasant. And surprisingly relaxed. Especially for such a public setting."

"What did she do?" Nina asked.

_"Oh! Darn, Spock, would you mind ordering me a water? I think I left my bag in that store," she explained. How had neither Spock or I realized that sooner?_

_"Would you prefer me to retrieve it for you?" Spock asked._

_"No, no," she said quickly. "You two stay here! I'll only be a moment. I like the exercise anyway."_

_Spock nodded to her and she sent us one las smile before heading out._

_"Are you enjoying yourself?" Spock asked me as we sat down at the table. He sat directly across from me._

_"Very much so," I told him. "Your mother's lovely... She's a woman I would love to be like somewhere in the future."_

_"My mother appears to have become very fond of you in a very short amount of time," he told me._

_"I find I have also become very fond of her," I admitted with a smile. "Your mother's very beautiful."_

_"I agree," he said._

_"It's so effortless," I continued with a small smile as I looked out the window. "She doesn't have to try at all. I find I envy her."_

_"I don't see why. Your looks are alluring. There are nearly no flaws about your person, which is of a charmingly elegant nature, and therefore are also very beautiful, even when you do not try."_

_I was stunned into a silence in which my face grew to a pale green._

_"Thank you, Spock."_

_"You are welcome," he told me._

_"If I may be so bold, I seem to have found where you get your good looks as well," I teased, trying to lighten the mood and get the focus of of myself._

_"Thank you," he accepted, only very slightly hesitant._

_"You're welcome," I told him with a smile._

_"Hello, my name's Freya and I will be your server for today. What would the happy couple like to drink?" she asked with a wink. Suddenly my ears burned green and I felt slight nervousness and embarrassment emanating from Spock._

_"We-we're not a couple," I denied swiftly but politely. "And we're waiting for a third person. She and I would each like a water with lemon, please."_

_"As would I," Spock agreed._

_"O-oh! I'm so sorry, I just heard you two complimenting each other and-I'll-I'll go get those drinks," she said, flustered. She walked away quickly and Spock and I sat in stunned (yet somehow not awkward) silence for almost three minutes before Amanda finally came back._

_"I leave for almost ten minutes and neither of you speak? I thought you two were friends!" I jumped, suddenly shocked from my reverie as Amanda took her spot next to Spock._

_I couldn't help it._

_I burst out laughing._

"He said you were _beautiful_?"

"It was probably just his human half talking," I told her, my face green all over again.

"Yeah, okay, right. Well, what about today? You seemed to have something on your mind when you walked in."

"We met at the coffee shop this time and then we spent a lot of time at the park before we had the picnic I packed, then we took a shuttle to spend time walking on the beach, and then we had dinner and came back here."

"Then what were you thinking about when you came in?" she asked, confused. "What happened?"

"Amanda had a conversation with me during dinner," I told her, unable to stop the blush from spreading across my nose and the tips of my ears.

"About what?" she prompted, excited.

_I sat at the table with Spock and Amanda, happy to finally sit down once again._

_"Spock, would you mind to go get us some tickets for the next shuttle?" Amanda asked. "Let us two women relax and chat for a moment?" Despite his curious look, he nodded, turning to walk to the building across the street._

_"Are you having a good time, Amanda?" I asked her. She grinned at me again._

_"I'm having a wonderful time. You know, you've changed Spock."_

_"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"_

_"No, no, in a good way. He seems... happier. More like he enjoys his time," she told me. "You know, he talks about you all the time. And I can tell he enjoys your company. I don't think I've ever seen him so relaxed before."_

_There was a green flush making its way back onto my cheeks._

_"He's a wonderful friend," I told her. "He and I value each other's intellect as well as each other's talents, and although recently my personality has somewhat changed, I found that our personalities work together wonderfully... Even more so now than before, I think."_

_"I agree," she told me with a wink and a look. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were hiding something."_

_"Hiding something?" I asked, confused._

_"Hello, what would you like to drink?" The waitress came up to ask._

_"Just water for me, please," Amanda asked._

_"Make that two," I agreed with a smile. I didn't feel so lonely now, usually I was the only one who ever asked for water._

_"Perhaps the waitress wasn't so wrong yesterday__?" she asked and I nearly choked on air._

_"E-excuse me?" I asked, incredulous. My heart was racing and I knew my face was greener than the Irish grass. "N-no, really, we're friends. We don't even know each other well enough to be romantically involved in any way-"_

_"Well to be honest, I'd love to see you with Spock," she elaborated. "You've brought out a side of him I haven't seen since he was eight, and I love it. He's happy when he's with you. He really is."_

_"Amanda, I don't know what to-"_

_"Is everything alright, Maeve? You seem upset," I heard Spock ask me from behind. I had been so flustered I hadn't even felt his confusion from behind me. I jumped._

_"Y-yes, yes, I'm fine, please, sit down," I invited, unable to meet his eyes._

_"Are you certain?"_

_"One hundred percent," I told him quietly as he chose the seat next to me. I glanced up at Amanda for a moment._

_She winked at me._

"Oh my God, she tried to set you up with the Commander!?" she asked half-excited, half-incredulous.

"Not... necessarily."

"Well _sorta_," she said, suddenly forgetting about her henna design halfway through. "Oh my God, she's right though."

"What?"

"You guys would be like... the perfect couple," she said, a grin growing with her excited and mischievous emotions.

"Stop it, Nina, it's _not_ going to happen! He's a _Commander_... _and_ my _teacher_! Stop it and leave me alone!"

"Oh come on, you can't deny-"

"Incoming call from Commander Spock," the computer called out. Nina gave me a mischievous look and I glared quickly before jogging into the living area.

"Computer, answer call," I called out. Suddenly Spock's screen lit up the screen and I smiled. "Good evening, Spock."

"Good evening, Maeve," he greeted. "I have just been made aware that my mother wishes for you to accompany me to send her off to the flight to Vulcan with my father at 0700 hours tomorrow morning."

"Hmm," I thought for a moment. "Where do we have to bring her?"

"She and my father are taking off from Starfleet headquarters, no more than twenty minutes walk from here," he told me.

"I should have time," I told him. "What time are we meeting? Should I eat breakfast?"

"We will be meeting at the fountain again at approximately 0620 hours, and my mother wishes to take a quick stop at the coffee shop once again, so only ea if you should like."

"Alright, I'll see you then. Thank you, Spock," I told him, a grin on my face.

"Maeve?" he asked me, almost hesitantly.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I find that I am... anxious to see you again," he told me honestly. I felt flaming heat rise to my cheeks as I smiled.

"As am I, Spock."

"I shall see you at 0620 hours then?" he confirmed.

"See you then, Spock. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Bye, Spock!" I called.

"Goodbye, Maeve," he called before I ended the call.

I looked up to see Nina giving me a look.

"What?"

She just sighed, rolling her eyes, before mumbling something I couldn't hear and going back to the kitchen to finish her henna, leaving me confused beyond belief.

~:~:~:~:~

I smiled one last time at Amanda before she hugged me. I hugged back after a moment, shocked at the gesture.

"Take care of Spock for me," she told me quietly.

"I'll make sure he stays out of trouble, Amanda," I assured her, jokingly as we let go of one another.

"I fail to understand why I would need an overseer, as I have proved myself highly capable of looking after myself, which is proven in my success and authority within Starfleet," Spock denied.

"Spock, just let your mother worry," she said. I smiled at their banter.

"We both understand you're capable of taking care of yourself, Spock," I told him with a smile. "But knowing someone you trust is there with someone you love to make sure they're not only successful, but _happy_ as well, is a comfort to humans."

"I see," he gave in after a moment in which he registered the information.

"And you, Spock, had better look after this young lady as well," she assigned. "I don't want anything bad to happen to her, either. Make sure she stays this wonderfully happy young lady for me?"

"I will ensure that Maeve is happy, mother," he agreed. Both were ignoring my obvious blush.

"Spock," I heard from behind me. I turned quickly, my long ponytail almost hitting me in the face, only to see an elderly Vulcan man walking our way.

"Father," Spock greeted. "How are you?"

"I am doing well," he answered, though he kept his gaze on me.

"Sarek," Amanda greeted with a small smile. I felt the love shared between them-though Sarek's was obviously hiding a bit-and their happiness at being reunited and it almost brought tears to my eyes as well as a small smile to my lips. "I have missed you."

"Father," Spock began after his parents shared a short look. "I must introduce my friend Maeve."

"Live long and prosper," I greeted with a small smile and a Vulcan salute.

"Live long and prosper," he greeted as well, holding his hand up in the same fashion.

There was little small talk, mostly goodbyes being given to one another, wishes for health and longevity, and many glances in my direction from Sarek. I could feel the concealed curiosity as well as slight familiarity (perhaps from my mother or from understanding since his son was also of mixed-race) and I understood. He was probably wondering who-or more precisely _what_-exactly I was. Obviously a mixture of Betazoid as well as Vulcan, but perhaps he understood there was more to me than that.

It was bittersweet to see Spock's parents off. Though we had only been all together for a grand total of five minutes, I found his family easy to talk to. Especially his mother. She has already become like a second mother to me. It made me sad to see her go.

"Are you ready to depart?" Spock asked me as the ship took off.

I sighed, "very well."

"You do not wish to go?"

"It's not that, Spock, I just... I find I'm going to miss your mother," I told him as we began walking back to the Academy.

"I understand. You have grown very close to my mother these past few days."

"I have," I agreed. "Perhaps I'll visit her. On Vulcan one day soon."

"I believe she would appreciate that very much," he admitted.

"Maybe we should _both_ go. Maybe this summer or something if you have some time for vacation. We can vacation on Vulcan and maybe then you could meet _my_ mother as well," I told him with a grin, excitement and hope pouring from me. "She went there a few months ago, for a week after she had a small spout with my dad. My father told me she's going back again soon to see her mother again and spend some more 'healing' time there, though. She misses it there, but it's okay because she goes often."

"I believe that would be rather... agreeable," he admitted, making my grin grow exponentially. It was quiet for a moment. "May I make a personal inquiry?"

"Of course, Spock."

"How does your mother deal with being half-Vulcan?"

"Not well, really. She is much like you in most regards, but she finds containing certain emotions-particularly anger, which she is very prone to-difficult to withstand and contain. Most of her trips to Vulcan are for meditation and understanding. She often comes back and finds she is able to control herself for some time before she has another breakdown and has to go for another week. It's... difficult to handle at times, but I was similar when I was young. I understand why it is difficult for her to cope."

"And she goes to Vulcan often?"

"For a week every two months, even if she hasn't had any sort of explosion of anger. It's very much like a medicine to her. My grandmother allows her to stay with her for a week to meditate."

"And she meditates for the entire week?"

"Yes, it was difficult for her at first, even frustrating, but she's got it down pat now. She only goes to Vulcan now both out of habit and preference-it soothes her and slows her down. She meditates as much as she can at home too, but it's not quite the same."

"Do you meditate?"

"I meditate very often. In fact, I learned from a member of the Vulcan High Council when I was young. My mother went for one of her week-long sessions, and she had me learn control over the Vulcan part of myself as well as the Betazoid part of myself."

"Who was the member of the Vulcan High Council?"

"I can't remember his name. But he was very patient. And... you may find this odd as Vulcans do not show such emotions, but... he was very kind to me, as well as understanding. Almost like he had experience with children like me. But he _is_-or at least _was_-a member of the High Council. I'm sure he had to deal with plenty of obnoxious people."

"I see," was all he said. I looked at him, brows furrowed.

"Is... anything the matter?" I asked.

"No, I just can't help but wonder if it was my father who taught you, as he is not only Ambassador to Earth but also a member of the Vulcan High Council."

Suddenly I remembered the curiosity and the streak of familiarity I felt in Sarek and my heart jumped.

"So _that's_ what that was about?" I asked myself quietly.

"I'm sorry?"

"O-oh, sorry, Spock, it's just that... when we were with your parents I felt your father's minute emotions and I sensed curiosity and familiarity," I told him. "I assumed he was curious about my mixed heritage and the familiarity was tied back to having a son who also had a mixed heritage... However now, upon closer inspection, I believe you guessed correctly. I had... buried those memories, as I was young and I found them… painful. However, I have never forgotten your father's teachings, and I have grown to both understand and master the art of meditation. Your father is a wonderful teacher."

"How old were you?"

"Fourteen," I told him. He nodded. We were quiet for a moment as I thought,_ perhaps he _does_ have experience with unruly children_.

"I was in my twenties at that time," he told me and I blushed, suddenly feeling very small, remembering he was somewhere around eight or nine years my senior.

"Were you unruly as a child?" I asked, changing the subject back to what I was comfortable with.

"I was..." he began slowly. "Conflicted. I didn't often let my emotions get to me, but when someone called my mother something rude or when they degraded my human half, I was prone to... fits."

I didn't even know what to say for a moment before I giggled. Spock looked at me like I had asked him if I could see his weenis.

"I'm sorry Spock, I just... I don't know what to say, I can't imagine you losing your cool," I told him honestly. Suddenly I couldn't stop the smirk from growing onto my face. I cleared my throat. "Of course I also find that I can't imagine you taking dance classes."

"I'm sorry-"

"Oh, your mother told me all about them," I told him, teasing. "She told me you _excelled_, actually. I'm impressed. You'll have to show me sometime. I'm not sure I'll believe until I see it."

"You question the integrity of my mother?"

"N-no! No, that's not what I meant, I-" I cut myself off when I looked up at Spock, who, I noticed, was smirking slightly. I lightly pushed against his arm. "Goodness, Spock, you scared me!"

"I apologize-"

"No you don't," I told him with a laugh. "You don't apologize for jokes you made that no one took offense to."

We were almost to the campus and we kept quiet, both of us in a content silence as we continued on. I couldn't stop thinking.

_Spock made a joke. A genuine, funny, laughable, joke, and he shared it with _me_ of all people._

And suddenly, I felt as though nothing could go wrong.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**WOAH LONG CHAPTER! Y'all deserve it for your patience.**

**Thank you SO much for reading!  
**

**And PLEASEEEE review! Let me know what you think! Anything well-written? Anything need fixing (if so please be nice about it!)?**

**Thank you so much and I'll see y'all soon! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1 bro**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Hey y'all! Here's the next chappie for ya! :3**

**Guest: Here ya go!**

**Vulcanlover12: Boy, you're a girl of my own heart. Fluff forever 3**

**vampgirl775: Aww thank you so much! It makes me happy beyond belief that you look forward to my writing. :') Thank you so much!**

**LostHazel: MUAHAHAHA! Sorry, evil moment. Thank you so much! I _loved_ writing it all! And I just HAD to make him dance, it would be so attractive ;) I already have the scene allll written out, it's just a matter of publishing it all chapter by chapter with minor revisions to each before I post them. Trust me, I think you'll enjoy it! At least I hope you do...! :O Yay! I love cookies, I could eat them every day. Hehe, I know! It'd make me pretty happy to see him tango. XD**

**I hope y'all enjoy the chapter! Thank you for reading! :)**

**~:~:~:~:~**

One Week Later

~:~:~:~:~

_Dearest Maeve,_

_Your mother took off for Vulcan this morning. I knew you'd want to know, so she'll be at Vulcan a little less than an hour from when I sent this message. I hope you have a good day, and message back when you can!_

_With love,_

_Dad_

I read my dad's short message on my Padd and smiled. I'd have to message him back tonight when I had time. For now, though I had to get ready for class.

The morning went by in a blur and finally, I got to take a break and have some dinner before I had to head to Kobayashi Maru Test Encoding with Spock. I was headed out from Advanced Chemistry Lab when suddenly I heard some familiar voices from ahead of me.

"Why are _you_ so happy?" I heard Bones ask. I glanced over only to see him with Jim.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"No, I don't suppose you do," Leo answered, rolling his eyes. Jim ignored him.

"Hello ladies," Jim said, winking at some girls as he and Leo made their way down the steps. "I'm taking the test again."

"You've got to be kidding."

"_You're_ the one we have to set the test up for?" I asked incredulously from behind them. "You've got to be kidding."

"Yeah, tomorrow morning and I want you there," he told Leo before he turned to me. His eyes widened. "What the hell is up with your ears?"

"I'm part Vulcan, Jim."

"But-wait, why didn't I know this?" he asked incredulously before he turned to Leo. "Did _you_ know this?"

"Since when were you _Vulcan_?" Leo asked.

"Since I was born," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"But why didn't you tell us?"

"I was afraid of ridicule," I said simply.

"Maeve, we'd never hurt you," Leo said. "Don't you realize that?"

"You're _Vulcan_?" Jim said again, still hung up on the fact.

"Yes! Jim, I'm Vulcan. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be ridiculed and I had decided to embrace my Vulcan part and live like that. The only reason I decided to stop being the me you guys know is because, frankly, I didn't _want_ to be that me, now can we _please_ move on? I'm okay now, I'm happy the way I am, and I was hoping you guys would be too. I've learned to trust you, which is why I'm standing here with you, ears blazing." Leo and Jim glanced at each other.

"You aren't given the names of the students you're testing?" Jim asked, changing the subject. I almost sighed in relief.

I shook my head, "I only know the day of, and that's only if I decide to go watch them take the exam, which... I typically can't because of my scheduling. So basically, I won't be there whether you want me there or not."

"You know I've got better things to do than watch you embarrass yourself for the 3rd time. I am a doctor, Jim. I'm busy."

"Bones, it doesn't _bother_ you that no one's _ever_ passed the test?"

"Jim, it's Kobayashi Maru. _No_ one passes the test. And no one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds."

"Maeve passed it," he pointed out.

"Actually, no. I didn't. I just found a way to do the most I possibly could in that situation. And I'm not allowed to talk about it, Jim. And neither is Bones, so don't even try."

"But you're the closest anyone's got."

"I managed to save a my own crew and get some members of the Kobayashi off their ship before I was 'killed,' but I still, overall, blatantly _failed_ the mission."

Jim rolled his eyes before he patted Bones' shoulder. "I've gotta study," he told us before he ran off.

"Study, my ass," Bones muttered.

"That's probably much closer to what he'll actually be doing," I told him, only partially joking as we headed to the mess hall for dinner.

~:~:~:~:~

Everyone had heard of Cadet Kirk's stunt by now, and Spock communicated to all of my professors that I would not be coming to my classes until it was discovered how Kirk had hacked the system. So that's where I had been until 1530, when we found the subroutine and we figured out exactly what had been done to the system and we left to report it to the board.

And that's how we got landed here.

"This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter. James T. Kirk, step forward," the chair began as Jim stood, walking slowly to the podium at the front of the room.

I sighed slightly and shook my head from Bones' side.

He glanced at me, "something tells me Jim won't be too happy with you."

"Or Commander Spock," I added.

"Who-" he was cut off as the chair began again.

"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council, suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuing to regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?"

"Yes. I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly?" My heart dropped as I stood with Spock.

"Step forward please. This man is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last 4 years," he introduced. "And the young woman is Cadet Maeve O'Grady. She was invited to learn computer sciences as well as aid the Commander in his duties programming the test as she is noted as the Commander's most notable and successful student to date. She has been aiding him for the past few months. Commander?"

I felt Jim's anger, disappointment, and most of all, his betrayal, as he stared at me. I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test."

"Your point being?"

"You cheated, James," I told him with a small glare out of the corner of my eye.

"Let me ask you something, I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinnable."

"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario?"

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios."

"Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson."

"Please, enlighten me."

"You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk, a captain cannot cheat death." That was the wrong thing to say. I felt Jim's extreme pain override his anger as he registered the comment.

"I of all people?"

"Your father, Lt. George Kirk assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?"

"I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test."

"Further more you have failed to define the purpose of the test."

"Enlighten me again."

"James, the purpose is simple. You experience fear in the simulation. You have to harness the intense emotion and maintain control of yourself _and_ your crew. It's expected that every Starfleet captain has this quality. Just like your father. Although he could not find a solution that would allow him to survive, he found one that saved _hundreds_ of people. Including yourself. And _that's_ what matters, James. _That's_ what you had to aim for. You didn't have to _cheat_ just so you could _win_ and get what you wanted."

There was silence for a moment as he thought. His emotions were slowly turning from angry and painful to understanding and disappointment.

"Excuse me, sir," a cadet interrupted, wrenching our thoughts from the problem at hand. "We've received a distress call from Vulcan."

My eyes widened and I stiffened, as did Spock from next to me.

"With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to hangar 1 immediately. Dismissed."

I was frozen for a moment before Jim's voice broke me from my reverie.

"Who was that pointy-eared bastard?"

"I don't know... But I like him," Bones said before he caught my panicked look. Jim looked to me as well as my breath picked up speed.

"Mother," I murmured. Their eyes widened before I turned, bolting from the room faster than I have in my entire life.

~:~:~:~:~

"Commander, this isn't fair, even the board ruled I was by far your most distinguished student. I asked for the Enterprise, and-"

"Commander, a word?" I turned to see Uhura and I couldn't help but grin, trying to contain my simmering emotions regarding Vulcan.

"Yes, lieutenant?"

"Was I not one of your top students?"

"Indeed you were."

"And did I not on multiple occasions demonstrate an exceptional oral sensitivity, and I quote 'an unparalleled ability to identify sonic anomalies in subspace transmission tests?"

"Consistently, yes."

"And while you were _well_ aware that I'm qualified _and_ desire to serve on the USS Enterprise, I'm assigned to the _Farragut_?"

"This was all an attempt to avoid the appearance of favoritism."

"No. I'm assigned to the Enterprise."

"As am I," I cut in. Ny and I glanced at each other out of the corners of our eyes and smirked as Spock hesitated for only a moment before fixing the data on his Padd.

"Yes, I believe you are," Spock said.

"Thank you," Ny and I said before we headed to the shuttle.

~:~:~:~:~

I ran to my station, now in my blue uniform and black boots as I took my seat at my station.

"Mr. Spock," I heard the Captain greet.

"Captain," Spock greeted as he sat in his spot next to me. "Engineering reports ready for launch."

"Thank you," he said, going on to make an announcement to the crew as I tried to focus on my work, but the combined panic from myself and the rest of the crew made it difficult. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep, shaking breath, purging myself from all emotion and reverting back to the stoic me. I had to remain calm, and shutting myself down was the only way. I'm sure mother would be fine.

I felt eyes on me and suddenly a clothed arm brushed lightly against my bare one and fire suddenly filled my body. My eyes shot open and I looked over. My now-stoic eyes met with Spock's deep chocolate brown. I read his eyes, the eyes that were asking me if I was okay, telling me he was here, and I nodded, refusing the emotions that began welling up in me as I turned back to my work.

If I just didn't think, everything would be fine. It was hard, even with Spock's arm periodically brushing against my own, sending fire up my arms, but I just kept breathing and attached myself to his calm emotions as much as I could, while I focused on my work. I shut out the rest of the world until I heard a commotion.

"Captain! Captain Pike, sir, we have to stop the ship."

"Kirk, how the hell did you get on board the Enterprise?"

"Captain, this man is under the influence of a severe reaction to a vaccine," Bones told him, trying to talk over Jim.

"Bones, plea-"

"He's completely delusional and I take full responsibility-"

"Vulcan is not a experiencing a natural disaster, it's being attacked by Romulans," Jim interjected.

"Romulans? Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day... McCoy, take him back to medical. We'll have words later."

"Aye captain."

"_Sir_, that same anomaly-"

"Mr. Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel, captain," Spock interjected, standing from his position next to me.

"Look, I get it, you're a great-I'd love to do it again with you soon-"

"I can remove the cadet-"

"Try it! This cadet is trying to save the bridge!"

"By recommending a full stop mid-warp doing a rescue mission?" It was silent for a moment.

"It's not a rescue mission. Listen to me. It's an attack."

"Based on what facts?" It was silent for another moment as Jim tried to get his raging emotions under control. I stood, sending him a wave of calm as I placed my hand on his clothed shoulder. He sent me a grateful glance before his gratefulness was replaced by concern at seeing my dead eyes. I sent another small wave of calm and he turned back to the captain.

"That _same_ anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, _also_ occurred on the day of my birth, before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin. You know that, sir. I've read your dissertation. That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attacked a place on the edge of Klingon space. And at 23:00 last night there was an attack. 47 Klingon war birds destroyed by Romulans, sir. And it was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship."

"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Jim looked at Nyota.

"Sir, I intercepted and translated the message myself. Kirk's report is accurate."

"We're warping into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us. I promise you that." There was another moment of silence.

"The cadet's logic is sound. And Lt. Uhura's is almost _unmatched_ in Xenolinguistics. We would be wise to accept her conclusion."

"Scan Vulcan space. Check for any transmissions in Romulan," the Captain told the Xenolinguistics Cadet.

"Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan," he answered. I moved back to my own spot.

"What about you? Do you speak Romulan, Cadet?"

"Uhura. All 3 dialects, sir."

"Uhura, relieve the lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

"O'Grady, hail the USS Truman."

"All the other ships are out of warp sir and have arrived at Vulcan," I reported from my station. "But we seem to have lost all contact."

"Sir, I pick up no Romulan transmission... or transmission of any kind in the area."

"It's because they're being attacked," Jim interjected.

"Shields up. Red alert."

"Arrival at Vulcan in 5 seconds," Sulu reported. "4... 3... 2..." As soon as we were out of warp, all hell broke loose.

"Emergency evasives!"

"On it, sir," Sulu said.

"Damage report!"

"Deflector shields are holding."

"All stations. Engineer Olson, report."

"Full reverse. Come about starboard, 90°."

"Drop us down underneath them, Sulu."

"Captain, they're locking torpedoes," Spock reported as we worked frantically. My heart was beginning to speed up with the panic surrounding me.

"Divert auxiliary power from port to forward shields. Sulu, status report."

"Shields at 32%. Their weapons are powerful, sir. We can't take another hit like that."

"Get me Starfleet command."

"Captain. The Romulan ship has lowered some kind of high energy pulse device into the Vulcan atmosphere. It's signal appears to be blocking our communications and transporter abilities," I told him somewhat frantically. I felt Spock's arm brush against mine again, making me shiver.

"All power to forward shields. Prepare to fire all weapons."

"Weapons ready."

"Captain, we're being hailed," I told him through the chaos. Suddenly, everything was almost calm.

"Hello. I'm captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking?"

"Hi Christopher, I'm Nero."

"You've declared war against the Federation. Withdraw... I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location."

"I do not speak for the Empire. We stand apart," Nero said. His voice would have sent shivers down my back had I not been shut off to the world. "As does your Vulcan crew member. Isn't that right, Spock?"

My brow furrowed as Spock stood and walked forward.

"Pardon me, I do not believe that we are acquainted," Spock said.

"No, we're not. Not yet. However, there's something I would like you to see. Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. As you can see, by the rest of the armada, you have no choice. You will man a shuttle. Come aboard the Narada for negotiations. That is all," he said before he cut the stream. Spock and I glanced at each other quickly, both confused.

"They'll kill you, you know that," Jim said.

"Your survival is unlikely," Spock agreed.

"Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a _mistake_."

"I too agree. You should rethink your strategy."

"I understand that. I need officers who've been trained in advanced hand to hand combat," Pike commanded.

"I have training, sir," Sulu offered.

"Come with me. Kirk, you too. You're not supposed to be here anyway. Chekov, you have the con."

"Aye, Captain."

I sat back at my station, confusion beginning to write itself all across my face. What the hell was going on?

And a tugging thought, a small prayer of sorts, in the back of my mind that I couldn't stop...

_Please let Spock be safe, wherever he's going, please let him be safe. Let him come back soon._

_I can't lose him._

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Woahhhh guys she kinda admitted she had feelingsssss! But not really cause it could just be a super-close friend type thing. But what about the fire? ;)**

**PLEASEEE review and lemme know what you think (nicely please XD )! I need as much feedback as possible! Thank you for reading! I love y'all!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Hey y'all! Good to see ya! I don't have any announcements or anything so yeah.**

**LostHazel: Thank you sooo much! Wellll, this is the chapter you'll find out the answers to that question! I hope I didn't disappoint! :O**

**Lift the Wings: Yayyy! Me too, I think they're cute... ;3 Well, you don't have to wait for this chapter anymore! I really hope you like it!**

**I hope y'all enjoy! :3**

**~:~:~:~:~**

It wasn't long before Spock came up and took the Captain's Chair, sending relief flooding through my entire being as I thanked whatever being-or beings-that may be out there for his safety. He was alright, and for a moment that was all that mattered.

I sat there watching, anxiety boiling over as the party took out the drill.

"Captain, gravitational sensors are off the scale," the super-smart, uber-young Russian kid, Pavel Chekov, told him. "If my calculations are correct, they're creating a singularity that will consume the planet."

I stood from my station, staring at him, eyes wide and scared, "they're creating a black hole at the center of Vulcan?"

"Yes," he told me.

"How long does the planet have?" Spock asked.

"Minutes, sir. Minutes."

Spock and I looked at each other, sharing a look.

"Alert Vulcan command center to signal a planet wide evacuation all channels, all frequencies."

"Yes, sir."

Spock headed toward the elevator.

"Spock, wait! Where are you going?"

"To evacuate the Vulcan High Council," he told me. "Their task is to protect our cultural history. My parents will be among them."

"You're not going without me. My mother is down there. And she could very likely be there with my grandmother," I told him as I ran to the elevator as well. Grandmother was a member of the council.], and sometimes took my mother with her if my mother wasn't meditating.

"Chekov, you have the comm," Spock commanded as the doors closed.

I grabbed my padd and called my father back on Earth.

"Maeve? Are you alright? What's-"

"Father, where's mother? I need to know immediately."

"She only just told me a moment ago that she was headed to a council meeting with your grandmother. Apparently something's going wrong with Vulcan and they contacted Starfleet, are you-"

"Yes, father, I'm going to get her. Commander Spock and I are headed to the surface to retrieve the Vulcan High Council right now. I'll call you once she's safe aboard the _Enterprise_," I told him quickly as the doors to the lift opened and I hit the 'end call' button.

~:~:~:~:~

"Clear the pad. We're beaming to the surface."

"The surface of what?" Kirk asked incredulously as Spock and I took our stances on the transporter pad. "What, you're going down there? Are you guys nuts? Guys, you can't _do_ that!"

"Energize," Spock commanded, ignoring Kirk.

We appeared on the surface and we ran into the Katric Ark.

"Spock? Maeve?"

"Where's mother?" I asked frantically, searching the room for my family, yet not seeing them anywhere. "Where's grandmother!?"

"They just told us they were coming down, they haven't gotten here yet-"

"The planet has only seconds left, we must evacuate," Spock said as my heart sank. "Mother, _now_!"

We ran, but I sprinted past them. I had to get to grandmother's. It wasn't more than a minute's sprint from here-but I was met the planet deteriorating.

"Spock to Enterprise."

"No!" I whispered as I took a step back, interrupting Spock's communication to the _Enterprise_. "Mother!"

"Get us out _now_," he demanded. My heart was breaking they were gone.

"Locking onto you. Don't move," I heard Chekov's voice. "Stay right where you are. Transport in 5... 4... 3... 2..."

I looked to Amanda only to watch her as she fell.

"Mother!" Spock yelled as I screeched her name, lunging after her in the hopes of grabbing hold of her.

"I'm losing her!" I heard before I felt weightless and I once again found myself in the transporter room. I tumbled forward from the mid-leap I was in to get Amanda before she fell.

I looked to the spot Amanda was supposed to be, my heart breaking as I slowly sat up.

I found I didn't have a voice as I was slammed by the weight of my own emotions as well as everyone else's. I felt dizzy as I went to stand only to find that I couldn't. The silence was deafening as Spock stepped forward. Feeling the weight of his emotions mix with my own, I sobbed, placing my hands over my face, unable to keep the emotions internalized anymore.

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep my raging emotions in check as I felt Spock coming closer. The increasing proximity to him and his own deeply raging emotions made his emotions feel stronger to me, making me curl up into myself, sobbing more.

I felt his hand on me, and, quietly, I heard Spock's voice in my mind.

"I understand," he comforted. Suddenly, I felt his bare hand against my bare arm, sending more electricity and flames into me than I knew was possible. His emotions flooded me like they were my own, making the tears flow hard and fast as he wound his arm around my waist and placed the back of his hand under my palm, pulling me up as best he could. He steadied me, sharing in my grief with a minor telepathic Vulcan connection. I looked into his eyes, and saw the tears threatening to spill over, so I took as much of his pain unto me as I could, unable to stop the tears from flowing like a river as I stepped away.

I felt his shock at the understanding that I took on not only my own pain, but as much of his as I could as well, before he nodded, understanding he needed to return to his duties, and he walked off the pad. I let the never-ending tears flow down my cheeks silently, getting as much of my pain out as I swept by the men who were crowded around the transporter screen, ignoring their pitiful stares as I headed to the bridge slowly, as to make sure I wouldn't explode in another fit of tears.

When the doors to the bridge opened, I walked quickly, painfully aware of my tear-stained, green-flushed cheeks as I made my way to my spot.

"You okay?" Ny asked me quietly. I merely nodded, unable to trust my voice. "I'm sorry... I'm so, _so_ sorry..."

I glanced over to see Spock headed back to the elevator, and I followed, feeling understanding and loss emanating from Nyota as I went.

I hit a button, slowing the elevator.

"I find... I'm in need of your presence," I admitted quietly. I turned to face him directly so I could meet his eyes as I begged. "Please, don't leave me alone-"

"I assure you, Maeve. If there's anyone's presence I find I am in need of, it is yours," he told me honestly, brushing his fingers against my arm to show me his honesty, before he pulled away like he touched a flame as he felt the weight of my emotions.

"I'm sorry, Spock," I choked out to him. "I'm... from taking on so many emotions, I'm-"

"Hush, friend," he assured me quietly. "You are immensely strong. If I were to... do what you have done... I would not be in control of myself. You are doing what you can. You yourself has lost not one, but two mother figures as well as your grandmother. Your strength is... beyond admiral."

"Thank you, Spock... For everything..." I closed my eyes, letting a few more tears fall as he slowly leaned in and kissed my forehead, making my heart leap and my body turn completely into electrical energy. I felt the cool tears on my lashes as I looked up at him.

"If there is one thing you taught me about friendship, Maeve, it is that friends are always there for each other," he told me. I smiled slightly. I was so caught up in all of our despair and sadness, I completely missed the small, rose-colored emotion simmering under Spock's mask, as well as my growing rose-colored emotion that I had been blatantly ignoring, simmering in the depths of my own heart. The doors opened and he walked out, beckoning for me to come with him.

~:~:~:~:~

"Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain," Uhura told him.

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Earth may be his next stop, but we have to assume every Federation planet's a target," Kirk added from the Captain's chair.

"Out of the chair."

"Well, if the Federation is the target, why didn't they destroy us?" Chekov answers.

"Why would they? Why waste a weapon? We obviously weren't a threat," Sulu offered.

"That's not it," I interjected from my place as I stood and walked toward the group. "He said he wanted Commander Spock to see the destruction of his home planet."

"How the hell did they do that, by the way? And where did the Romulans get _that_ kind of weaponry?"

"The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. That kind of technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time," Spock pointed out. I nodded, looking down as I realized what he was saying.

"Damn it man, I am a doctor, not a physicist. Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?"

"If you eliminate the impossible, what ever remains, however improbable must be the truth."

I couldn't stop the small smile, "Sherlock Holmes."

"Indeed."

"So you _have_ read it," I pointed out, a small smile gracing my lips. He had asked for literature I had found entertaining weeks ago, but he never told me he read it yet.

"How poetic," Bones said sarcastically.

"Then what would an angry _future_ Romulan want with captain Pike?" Kirk asked.

"As captain he does know details of Starfleet's defenses," Sulu offered again.

"What we need to do is catch up to that ship. Disable it, take it over and get Pike back," Kirk insisted.

"We are technologically outmatched in every way," I told him logically.

"A rescue attempt would be illogical," Spock agreed.

"Nero's ship would have to drop out of warp for us to overtake it," Chekov reasoned.

"Then what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp yield?" Kirk asked.

"Remaining power and crew are being used to repair radiation leaks on the lower decks and damage to subspace communications-"

"Okay. Alright. Alright!"

"Without which we cannot contact Starfleet-"

"There's got to be _some_ way-"

"We must _gather_ with the rest of Starfleet. To balance the terms of the next engagement-"

"There won't _be_ a next _engagement_! By the time we've _gathered_ it'll be too late. You say he's from the future and knows what's gonna happen, then the logical thing is to be _unpredictable_!"

"You're assuming that Nero knows how event's are predicted to unfold? The contrary, Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entirely new chain of incidents, that cannot be anticipated by either party."

"An alternate reality," Nyota spoke up, realizing what was going on.

"Precisely. Whatever our lives might have been, if the time continuum was disrupted our destinies have changed. Mr. Sulu, plot a course for the Laurentian system, warp factor 3."

"Spock, don't do that! Running back to the rest of the fleet for a-a-a con fab is a massive waste of time!" Kirk yelled.

"These are the orders issued by Captain Pike when he left the ship-"

"He also ordered us to go back and get him! Spock, you are _captain_ now, you have to make-"

"I am aware of my responsibilities, Mr. Kirk-"

"Every second we waste, Nero's getting closer to his next target!"

"That is correct and why I'm instructing you to accept the fact that I alone am in command."

"I will not allow us to go backwards and cower from the problem instead of hunting Nero down."

"Security, escort him out," Spock commanded. I stood back helplessly, unsure of where I stood in the situation.

"No, Jim!" Bones and I yelled as he bean to attack security.

Spock stepped forward, giving him a Vulcan nerve pinch, making him go limp.

"Get him off this ship," he growled.

I didn't dare intervene, feeling the anger emanating from him.

I knew there was nothing I could do as Jim was dragged off the bridge.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Woahhhhh heavy chapter! But a nice little bit of fluff! X3**

**I hope y'all liked it and PLEASEEEE let me know in the comments all of your thoughts! Good? Bad? Be gently, my friends, for I am sensitive!**

**Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Sooooo since I've been home sick all day I figured that because I love you all and because the last chapter was so gloomy, I'd put this fluffy one in here for you as a gift for being such perfectly wonderful people! 3**

**Lift the Wings: Ohhhhhhh fluff is coming, don't you worry ;)**

**vampgirl775: Why thank you!**

**LostHazel: Haha! Thank you so much for the compliment! :D**

**Hope y'all like it!**

**~:~:~:~:~**

"Captain Spock, detecting unauthorized access to water turbine control board," Chekov reported.

"Bring up the video," Spock ordered, leaning over Chekov's shoulder. I suddenly felt anger as well as confusion flood Spock as he commanded, "Security, seal the engineering deck. We have intruders in turbine section 3. Set phasers to stun."

Spock and I shared a small look, mine conveying confusion while his conveyed impatience with the intruder, making my confusion ever more prominent as Spock turned back to work.

~:~:~:~:~

It was only minutes before Kirk and some wet guy was brought onto the bridge.

"Who are you?" Spock demanded from the wet man.

"I'm with him," the wet man answered.

"He's with me."

"We're traveling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?"

"Hey you're the genius, you figure it out," Jim interrupted rudely.

"As acting captain of this vessel, I _order_ you to answer the question." I felt Spock's rising anger, and I stood, slowly walking toward the group.

"Well I'm not telling, _acting captain_." It was silent aside from my light footsteps. "What, did-? What now? That doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation, that- that doesn't make you angry?"

"Are you a member of Starfleet?" Spock asked, turning to the wet man as he tried to bury his emotions. I was reaching for any amount of calm I possessed in the sea of confusion and concern pulsing through me, and began to attempt to magnify it so I could send it forth to the group.

"I... Uhm... yes. Can I get a towel, please?"

"Under penalty of court martial I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard the ship while moving at warp?"

"Well-"

"Don't answer him," Kirk demanded and I felt another flash of fury emanate from Spock.

"You _will_ answer me."

"I'd rather not take sides."

"What is it with you, Spock? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset," Jim said incredulously.

"If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken."

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. I-, d-did you his ship? Do you see what he did?"

"Yes, of course I did." I tried to send a small wave of calm over the group only to see Jim glare at me. My shock at Jim's anger towards me retracted the calm I had sent for a moment.

"Jim-" I quietly tried to interject.

"So are you afraid or aren't you?" he ignored me.

"Jim, please-"

"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion."

"Then why don't you stop me?"

"Step away from me, Mr. Kirk," Spock growled. His anger was bubbling over the surface.

"What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak? Or the need, to stop at nothing, to avenge the death of the woman who gave _birth_ to you?"

"Back away from me," Spock demanded, growling fiercely.

"Jim, _please_-"

"You feel _nothing_! It must not even _compute_ for you."

"Jim!" I yelled, scrambling for the calm I once possessed and send it forth to calm Spock's raging emotions.

"You _never_ loved her!"

With that, Spock snapped, screaming in anger as he swung at Kirk, easily overtaking him. He held Kirk by his neck, choking him, and I was frozen for a moment.

"Spock," Sarek called. Nothing.

I came forward, placing my fingertips on his neck, sending waves of calm. I noted the hot sensation pulsing through my fingers.

"Spock," I murmured. "Stop. _Please_, Spock."

Immediately, he let go. He took a step back and looked at me and my calm, sad eyes, before looking around at the rest of the crew's horrified expressions. He was breathing heavily, overwhelmed. I watched as he slowly walked to Bones.

"Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

Spock left, sparing me one last glance before he left, the lift doors closing. I knew then that I had to go after him.

I began walking slowly and quietly, only to hear the wet man exclaim, "I like this ship! You know it's exciting!"

"Well congratulations, Jim, now we've got no captain and no God damn first officer to replace him."

"Yeah we do."

"What?"

"Pike made him first officer," Sulu said,

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"Thanks for the support."

"I sure hope you know what you're doing, _Captain_," Ny said sarcastically.

"So do I," Kirk admitted.

I sighed as I entered the elevator and made my way down to the transporter room, somehow knowing, in my heart, that was where he would be. I ignored the announcement Kirk made as I stood in the elevator, going after the man who needed me-who needed his best friend.

"Speak your mind Spock," I heard Sarek's voice as I stood in the doorway. I stepped in quietly. Spock was standing, staring at the transporter pad where his mother should have been.

"That would be unwise."

"What is necessary is never unwise."

"I am as conflicted as I once was as a child."

"You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you," he admitted, love and pain emanating from him. Spock looked to his father.

"I feel anger for the one who took mother's life. An anger I cannot control."

"I believe she would say... do not try to," and we all knew that is what she would say. His father continued after a moment. "You asked me once, why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her."

I almost froze at that. Not because of what he said-I already knew he loved Amanda-but because of the emotions that came with the confession. He held the same rose-colored emotion within him as I held within me whenever I so much as thought of the frightened, lost, sad man in front of me. I realized then it was time for me to come to terms with the cold, hard truth about what was within my heart.

I honestly, deeply, cared for Spock.

And with that, Sarek turned, giving me a knowing look as he passed me. He placed his hand on my shoulder for a moment as he passed, and I nodded. I waited a moment before I spoke out.

"Spock," I called to the man at the transporter pad. He didn't move, but I felt his awareness.

I slowly walked up to him, keeping my head down. "I understand," I whispered, mimicking what he told me telepathically only hours earlier.

He pulled me lightly by my wrist to stand in front of him, my back to his chest. I stood where he wanted me and he pulled me slowly and gently so I was close enough to feel his body heat, as well as every tiny emotion he was feeling as he reached for my hand and tangled his fingers with mine, his palm to the back of my hand. My heartbeat increased exponentially.

Especially when I felt his own rose-colored emotion swirled in with his anger, his sadness and shame. The emotion was swirling to the top as he pulled me even closer, nuzzling his nose into my neck gently. Tingling heat swirled through my entire body, emanating from his touches.

"I know," he admitted quietly.

My own emotions were going crazy. I felt despair for those Spock and I lost. I felt anger toward the people who took them from us. I felt disappointment and shame for being incapable of helping anyone-for being so emotionally compromised, that I hadn't been a service to anyone. I felt nervous, for what was going on, and I would have wondered if this was somehow just Spock seeking comfort for the day's happenings, if it weren't for the rose-colored emotion he felt. If it weren't for the rose-colored emotion _I_ felt.

I turned my face slightly to look at him as he brushed his lips against me. My heart was thrumming.

"Spock," I called quietly. He took a breath.

"Maeve," he murmured, sending shocks of electricity and heat through me.

"I never told your mother... I wanted to... I thought... I'd have a chance, but now..." I took a shaking sigh. "I know she was very fond of it, and I knew she knew- even when I didn't, that I was fond of _you_... though I wasn't willing to admit it to even myself at the time... But I knew she was hoping to see it one day..."

I felt ridiculous.

"Your mother sent you to take dance lessons because dance meant a lot to her. And so did you. If I told her this, she would have laughed... She would have been happier than I had ever seen her..."

_If you told her what?_ he urged in my mind lightly, trailing his fingers up my bare arm. I stopped for a moment, realizing the tingling, warm, contact we shared opened a telepathic link once more. Telepathy was something I've never shared with anyone before.

"If I told her I cared for you... that she was right after all, and I _did_ have feelings for you... and that I knew how to dance, too... If I told her... I wanted to dance with you... Because dancing is, by far, one of the most," I sighed quietly here, passion filling me as I spoke, tears betraying my eyes. "Intimate and wonderful things you can do with another... I wish she was still here for me to tell her... She would have laughed... she would have been so... happy... I wish I told her before it was too late... if only just to hear her laugh so happily once more... I'm sorry, Spock..."

Spock said nothing for a moment before he turned me, holding my chin and lifting it to see my face.

"You... have feelings for me?" I nodded, the tears overflowing and spilling over.

"I do," I admitted.

Slowly, he leaned in. Lightly, he brushed his lips against mine. Not quite a kiss, but enough for me to understand exactly what he was trying to say.

He cared for me as well.

Despite regulation.

Despite propriety.

He cared for me too.

~:~:~:~:~

Upon the Bridge

~:~:~:~:~

"Oi, Cap'n!" Scotty called joyously to Jim. He motioned him over to look at the security camera he happened to see over Chekov's shoulder of the transporter room.

"Sir, I do not think-" Chekov began.

"Oh, lighten up!" Scotty insisted. Jim came over and was shocked.

"What-"

"Chekov, project it on-screen!" Scotty asked.

"Sir, this is _private_, they probably do not wish for-"

"Then they shouldn't be talking like this where anyone could see!" he reached over and set the image of Spock pulling Maeve into an embrace, her back to his chest onto the big screen where everyone could see. "I thought you said they weren't married?"

"They weren't even romantically involved," Jim said, his brow furrowed. That girl was like a little sister to him, and his supposed-to-be-friend was touching her in a very un-Spock-like way. "At least I didn't think so. Can you get sound?"

At this point the entire bridge was watching the two people on the screen.

"Aye, sir," Scotty agreed. He turned it up as far as he could, as their voices were low.

"_Please_, sir, I really don't-" Chekov tried again just to be hushed by Uhura.

Spock was silent as he pulled Maeve closer to him.

"If I told her I cared for you... that she was right after all, and I _did_ have feelings for you... and that I knew how to dance, too... If I told her... I wanted to dance with you... Because dancing is, by far, one of the most intimate and wonderful things you can do with another..." she choked out. "I wish she was still here for me to tell her... She would have laughed... she would have been so... happy... I wish I told her before it was too late... if only just to hear her laugh so happily once more... I'm sorry, Spock..." she trailed off.

"Spock _dances_?" Jim asked and everyone hushed him.

Spock turned Maeve to look at him, placing his hand under her chin and pulling it up so he could see it better.

"You... have feelings for me?" Maeve nodded, the tears that had been in her eyes now spilling over.

"I do," she admitted quietly.

Slowly, he leaned in. Everyone watched in bated breath as the Vulcan man lightly brushed his lips against Maeve's. Not quite a kiss, but enough to communicate that he had feelings for her too.

Everyone turned their heads when they heard a sniffle only to find Uhura crying.

"I-I'm sorry, that's just... They're so perfect," she cried sweetly, making the girls giggle and half the men roll their eyes as Chekov saw an opening and hastily took the video feed down.

"Right, back to our job," Kirk said, only half joking.

~:~:~:~:~

Back to Maeve's POV

~:~:~:~:~

"Mr. Chekov is correct," I said as Spock and I made our way back onto the bridge.

"We can confirm his telemetry," Spock added. "If Mr. Sulu is able to maneuver us into position I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device, and, if possible, bring back Captain Pike."

"I won't allow you to do that Mr. Spock," Kirk said.

"Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device. Also, my mother was human. Which makes Earth the only home I have left."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it."

"See? We are getting to know each other," Kirk said, patting him on the shoulder. "Prepare the drill."

I couldn't stop the immense worry from filling me past the brim. I brushed the back of my hand against Spock's, exposing the emotion to him. He looked me in the eyes and nodded to me slightly, silently promising me he'd be careful. If only for my sake.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**I hope you guys didn't mind the early update! I just couldn't help myself!**

**I hope you guys liked it and PLEASEEEE review to let me know your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Hey guys, I was going to post the next two chapters today, seeing as I'm home sick again and I thought I'd just have to revise it, but this entire chapter was deleted so it won't just be revising-I'll be writing all day. *sigh* Now I have to re-write everything I've already written! Ugh! Oh well, we'll see where this goes I guess.**

**LostHazel: Haha I LOVE YOU TOO! Aww 'm so glad you enjoyed it! I know, I couldn't help it. I had to add that in. Haha YESSS! I'm so glad you really liked it so much!**

**Vulcanlover12: Hahaha well here's some more for ya!**

**I hope you all enjoy! :D**

**~:~:~:~:~**

"Fine Job Mr. Sulu, well done!" I heard Scotty compliment as I walked into the transporter room with Spock and Jim.

"Where are we, Scotty?" Jim asked as we passed him.

"Unbelievably sir, the ship is in position," he admitted.

"Whatever happens Mr. Sulu, if you feel you have a tactical advantage, fire on that ship. Even if we're still aboard. It's an order," Jim said as Spock made his way onto the pad, me following right behind him.

"Yes, sir," I heard vaguely from behind me as I looked up at Spock.

"Please be careful," I begged quietly. My heart was racing with anxiety. "I can't lose you now too."

Spock leaned in, placing his hand on the back of my neck, before he gently kissed my forehead.

_I will be, Maeve,_ he told me through my mind before slowly pulling away.

_You mean so much to me,_ I admitted as he leaned his forehead against mine.

Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. How I needed to kiss him.

But there was no time. I kissed his cheek softly before I turned and jogged back to where Scotty was sitting at the transporter.

"If there's any common sense to their ship design, I'll be puttin' ya in the cargo bay, shouldn't be a soul in sight."

"Energize," Jim said. And they were gone.

I ran all the way back to the bridge, hoping to keep track of the men as best as I could. Anxiety filled me past the brim as I hoped once again for Spock's safety.

~:~:~:~:~

It felt like years before Spock and Jim were once again aboard the ship. They ran onto the bridge and went straight to the front of the room. I grinned in relief as my heartbeat slowed and I went back to working.

"Captain! The enemy ship is losing power-its shields are down!"

"Hail them now!" Nero's face made its way onto the screen and Jim spoke. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_. Your ship is compromised. You're too close to the singularity to survive without assistance which we _are_ willing to provide."

There was silence for a moment before Spock turned to speak quietly with the captain.

"Captain, what are you doing?"

"We show them compassion- it may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock! I thought you'd like that."

Spock shook his head, "no, not really. Not this time."

"I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a _thousand_ times. I would rather die in _agony_ than accept assistance from you."

"You got it," Jim said, heading back to his chair as Nero's face was taken down from the screen. "Arm phasers, fire everything we've got."

"Yes, sir," Sulu agreed. Spock made his way to his spot next to me and I gave him a small smile before getting back to work.

"Sulu, let's go home!"

"Yes, sir!"

I froze as I realized we weren't going anywhere.

"Why aren't we at warp?"

"We are, sir!"

"Kirk to Engineering, get us out of here, Scotty!"

"You bet your arse, Captain!" It was a moment before we heard him once again. "Captain, we're caught in the gravity well, it's got us!"

In the following few minutes everything was a blur of anxiety, nerves, and fear. I tried to gather myself together and work, but my mind was slipping.

Until Spock brushed against my arm, calming me just before we were blasted away from the black hole, sending shock and relief through the entire crew. The happiness filled my body to the brim and I couldn't stop the giggle from erupting from my lips, sending a shock of happiness through Spock.

I turned to him and smiled.

And he smiled back.

~:~:~:~:~

"Cadet O'Grady, I am certain that you are wondering why we have adjourned you here with us today."

"Yes, sir."

"The board has ruled that although you are currently a Cadet, we wish to promote you to Commander upon your graduation." shock and happiness shot through my entire being. "Do you wish for the position?"

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir," I finally choked out, the initial shock wearing off into excitement.

"Then we look forward to the promotion."

"Thank you, sir."

"You are dismissed."

I ran from the conference room, looking for Spock. I had to tell him. He'd be so proud of me! I searched for his mind, and quickly found him within one of the Starfleet Hangars. I sprinted as quickly as possible.

"Spock!" I called. "Spock, you'll never guess-"

I rounded the corner, only to be faced with an old man. An old man who _felt_ like Spock, but an old man who, quite obviously, _wasn't_ my Spock.

"A-apologies, sir, I thought you were-"

"Maeve O'Grady," the man greeted.

"Yes, sir."

"I am pleasantly surprised to see you here. Back in my reality, you decided to live on Vulcan with your mother and father and Earth's ambassador to Vulcan."

"You're the alternate Spock?" I asked, surprised. "I wasn't in Starfleet in your universe?"

He shook his head, "I am indeed Spock from the alternate reality. However, where I come from, you were only in Starfleet for a limited amount of time before becoming Ambassador at a very young age."

"Were we friends in your reality?" I asked after a moment as we began walking.

"You could say that," he agreed. "We were very good friends."

Other Spock told me lots about the Other Me in the alternate universe as we walked. I noted the rose-colored emotion that swirled through him as we spoke of the Other Me. We had only spoken for maybe five minutes when we heard a voice call-"Father."

I turned quickly and Other Spock turned as well.

"I am not our father," he 's face conveyed curiosity as he walked forward to meet us halfway. "There are so few Vulcans left, we cannot afford to ignore each other."

"Then why did you send Kirk aboard when you alone could have explained the truth?"

"Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together. Of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize."

"How did you persuade him to keep your secret?"

"He inferred that universe-ending paradoxes would ensue should he break his promise."

"You lied?"

"Oh, I... implied." I couldn't stop the small giggle before I covered my lips lightly noticing the two men looking at me with small, endearing smiles. I didn't miss the prominent rose-colored emotion swirling through Other Spock.

"A gamble?" Spock asked quietly.

"An act of faith. One that I hope you will repeat in the future at Starfleet."

"In the face of extinction, it is only logical I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race." My heart sank at that. Spock was leaving?

"And yet you can be in two places at once. I urge you to remain in Starfleet. I have already located a suitable planet on which to establish a New Vulcan colony. Spock, in this case, do yourself a favor. Put aside logic. Do what _feels_ right. Since my customary farewell would seem oddly self-serving, I will simply say... Good luck."

Spock held up his hand in the same Vulcan salute as Old Spock began to walk away. I felt his consideration on the words Old Spock had said.

I hoped beyond hope he would choose Starfleet.

"Maeve?" Spock called to me, snapping me out of my daze.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"What were you doing here?"

"I was... looking for you. I reached out to find your emotions and it led me here. I hadn't realized until I got here that he was not actually the Spock I knew. I just ended up talking to him."

"What did you talk about?"

"The me from the alternate universe. Apparently I was ambassador from Earth to Vulcan. However, he told me my spirit was much more free than the other me's... Apparently she was a lot like you are. And I am a lot more like he is. He told me that it was important for me to follow my heart. And that was when you came in."

There was silence as thought about my words. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Oh! Er-well... I was just called to a small meeting with the board," I admitted. "They told me that once graduate, they want to promote me to Commander!"

I felt his sudden happiness, making my heart leap and another giggle erupt from my lips.

"Congratulations, Maeve."

It was in that moment I realized just how much I wished to kiss this man.

And God, was it hard to resist.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Sooooooooo I finally finished. It took forever to re-write, but hey! It's still up early, and it's better than the last version!**

**PLEASEEEEE review! Lemme know what you think! I love you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Guys... The next chapter's the finale... I'm dying on the inside... UGHHHHHH this is so disappointing! I HAVE to make a sequel... Like no joke. I hope you enjoy. Spoiler alert, I almost cried.**

**LostHazel: Well, I mean... ;)**

**Vulcanlover12: Sorry! I practically did leave you hanging. it's been a bit longer than usual since the last update!**

**I hope y'all enjoy!**

**~:~:~:~:~**

Spock was leaving.

I should have known. I really should have. When Older Spock told him to go with what felt right, I should have known. But Spock's damn consideration made me think that maybe he'd stay... Not that any of it matters anymore. He's leaving. It's final. I can't do anything about it.

For three days, I've been working my butt off to show him how much he matters to me. Little brushes and small touches of our hands, sending some of my affection toward him through our skin, paying extra attention to every word he said during classes, even practically blatantly telling him I cared and that I didn't want him to leave. But apparently none of that mattered now.

Tears stung my eyes as I remembered that moment.

_"Come in," I heard Spock call. I walked in, feeling a deep sadness emanating before he looked up and saw me, to which he first felt shock, then anxiety, before he pushed all of his emotions down below the surface._

_"Spock, I wanted to ask you about the memorial, but... But first, may I ask you something... of a personal matter?" I asked quietly as the door quietly shut behind me, my own heartbeat beginning to pick up. A stoke of fear and anxiety struck up again minorly before being suppressed to his usual low simmer. It only made my anxiety worse, and my mind go to the conversation he had with Other Spock-Spock Prime._

_"Of course," he answered, his voice also low._

_"Your emotions... you were sad until you saw me... I felt your anxiety as well as your fear," I admitted. "May I ask you... why you are feeling such strong negative emotion?" __There was silence for a moment in which Spock seemed to think about his answer._

_"I have been... pondering. On many things. My mother, New Vulcan, as well as what Spock Prime advised me to do. I find I am still grieving the loss of my mother, and the prospect of abandoning New Vulcan for my own selfish hopes renders me-"  
_

_"I understand," I told him, already fighting back tears and looking down. "The Vulcan race needs you. You do not have to explain."_

_"Maeve, you-"_

_"I'm sorry, Commander," I apologized as it began to hit me that he was leaving. My heart was breaking all over again. The emotion I felt was worse than the day Vulcan was destroyed and I lost so many people. I should have known. Just because I cared for him didn't mean he had to care for me. "I don't mean to become so emotional in your presence, I know it's inappropriate. You must go to New Vulcan and find a suitable mate who you can bond with in order to-"_

_"You misunderstand-"_

_"_No_ Commander. It's alright. Have a good evening, I apologize for taking up your time. I'm sure you have plenty of work that needs to get done," I said quickly before I turned and sprinted from the room, making a bee-line for my room, ignoring the calls from behind me as I ran faster than I ever have. Away from the sadness, away from the pain, away from everything I could._

I should have known.

My life has always been anything but a fairytale.

~:~:~:~:~

I sighed as I tugged on my ivory satin shoe.

Tonight was the night. Spock agreed to help me host a memorial dance for our mothers, and the entire Enterprise crew, as well as the board of Starfleet, Commander Pike, the Vulcan High Council, and, of course, our fahters were all invited. And every one of them was coming.

I dressed in a gorgeous ivory gown, perfectly flowing and elegant. It was a gown my father got me a few years ago, for my summer performance of the Viennese waltz-my most favorite dance of all. I had originally worn elegant gloves, as to make sure my sensitive hands would not end up in an accidental Vulcan kiss, however tonight, I doubted I'd dance much-if at all. I wasn't sure I was up for it, given my mood. So they were placed within my small lace handbag.

It was sleeveless and had a square-cut neckline. The bodice was made of lace that went all the way down until it hit the bow. The back was open, exposing the skin from the nape of my neck to my waist, where a semi-light champagne satin ribbon tied into a bow. The lace ended under the ribbon, and from there the slightly-puffy chiffon skirt flowed with every movement I made all the way down to my ankles. It was the perfect fullness, and it spun out with perfect elegance.

I had tied my waist-length hair into an elegant, almost bridal, half-up hairstyle, showcasing my natural curls, and placing small crystal hair pieces into it. My makeup was minimal. Very simple. I used tans and light browns on my lids and a simple tinted lip balm. I had minimal blusher and contouring, but enough to give me some color. The most decorative and intricate thing that I had on was some of Nina's henna. Her favorite elegant, lace-like design was now drawn on me, winding up each of my hands, up past my forearms to my elbows.

I sighed, looking in the mirror once more.

"I hope you have fun tonight, Amanda," I whispered. "Stay with Sarek, maybe. Watch all the dancing. Just… have fun and know that we love you. And we miss you. And mama... I remember how much you loved my dancing. I always felt it in your heart... It made me _so_ happy, it made me feel _whole_. Like I knew you cared and you loved seeing me so happy... even when you called it illogical..." that made me smile a bit before I sobered, trying not to cry. "I miss you, mama."

I took one last deep breath before turning to walk out of the empty room.

The completely empty room.

As Nina had died as well.

~:~:~:~:~

I stood at the bar, finally getting enough courage to try a Pineapple Cooler. A very tropical, very weak alcoholic drink I found I actually liked very much, much to my chagrin, as I like to avoid alcohol. The Vulcan part of me hates the very idea of alcohol. But blame my father, as it was him who ordered it for me.

"It's lonely back home," my father admitted in his slight Irish accent. His accent was so much smaller than my own. "Especially now."

"If you wish, father, I can transfer until-"

"No, no, please," he interrupted, taking a big sip of his own-much stronger-drink. "Not now that I've bought a home here."

"What?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

"I could see it in your eyes, Maeve," he admitted. "Whenever you speak of this place. You love it here. You love the people, the work, and you've made _friends_. For the first time in your life you have real friends. You're happy here, Maeve. And if you're happy here, there's _got_ to be something I'll end up loving as well."

I felt tears prick my eyes and I didn't know what to say.

"Father, I sent out my candidacy as ambassador to New Vulcan."

"Ambassador?" he asked. "Where did this come from?"

"A recent... turn of events," I said, unsure of what else I should say. I supposed one little white lie wouldn't hurt anything. "I suppose you could say I wish to remain connected to mama."

"I see... I just have one question, Maeve," he said and I nodded. "Who is he?"

"Who is who?" I asked, my heartbeat picking up slightly.

"The man you've fallen in love with."

"Fallen in-father, I'm not in love with _anyone_. I admittedly _care_ for... for Spock, but-"

"The _Commander_?" he asked.

"Yes, but-"

"You realize now I have to meet him. I have to approve of him before he even thinks about laying a hand on you-" my face began to heat up.

"Father, please," I begged, tears pricking my eyes. I had already lost that which I never had. And I didn't need to be reminded. "I don't want to have this conversation tonight."

"Alright, alright," he admitted defeat. I had only just finished my small drink and father smiled at me. "You go spend time with your friends now. Do you want me to hold your bag? I'm not too sure how much dancing I'll be doing tonight."

"Thank you father," I said, handing him my handbag and kissing him quickly on the cheek before heading off into the crowd.

I made my way through people, finally finding Nyota standing with Jim, just watching the dancers.

"They're very lovely dancers," I admitted quietly as I gestured to the floor where two young crew members were waltzing.

"Yeah, they're alright," Jim admitted.

"A lot of them are _very_ lovely dancers in my opinion," I defended. Dancing was dancing, and the fact that they were dancing for two beautiful, wonderful women made it all the more lovely. "Especially for untrained starship workers."

"I think so too," Nyota added. I sighed quietly.

"Five hundred people here, all for two women," I murmured.

"Many of us didn't know Amanda well, but we met her and we loved her. She was a very loving person," Jim said quietly. I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes. "And if your mother was able to help raise a woman as lovely as you, she had to be wonderful."

"How are you?" Ny interjected, trying to help me stay together.

"I'm fine," I told her with a small smile. "You're gorgeous tonight."

"Thank you," she said with a huge smile before twirling in her deep red dress. It truly was stunning on her.

"And Jim, you look very spiffing tonight," I told him with another small smile.

"Thanks," he said with a grin.

"But neither of us even compare to you. Everyone keeps staring at you. It's like Cinderella," she said with a little wink and a smile. "You truly are a gorgeous girl. Everyone thinks so."

"Thank you," I said with a still-small smile. Normally the compliment would have made me happy, but I wasn't too sure how much could really make me happy tonight.

"Maeve," I heard a gentle voice from behind me. A voice that made my heart leap. I turned quickly. Suddenly nothing mattered anymore-everything disappeared-except the man in front of me. And yet, my world was the one crumbling around me. All because of this man.

"Commander," I greeted, still trying to smile. He was dressed perfectly. He was wearing a crisp tux with a white shirt and a black tie matching his jacket. He had a white rose clipped to his coat. "I haven't seen you."

"I've been talking with my father as well as some of the Commanders until a few minutes ago, when I decided to come search for you," he admitted. I smiled lightly.

"Are you enjoying the dancing?" I asked him, still forcing a smile. He nodded slightly.

"My mother would have loved to be here," he said quietly.

"I believe that she is here. In spirit. And in our hearts," I told him, tears beginning to gather in my eyes as I thought of more heartbreak. He looked confused before I brushed my fingers against his quickly, sending him my imaginings of his mother standing alongside Sarek, smiling, and my understanding of our mothers in everyone's thoughts, therefore their hearts, as they danced. I saw a small tug at his lips, a small sad smile before he held out his hand, offering me the back of his bare hand-most likely the way he was taught to dance as to avoid any Vulcan kisses of his own.

"Would you care to dance?" he asked me, and my heart gave a start, all traces of a smile wiped from my lips.

"A waltz?"

"A Viennese," he clarified. My heart raced. My favorite. I nodded, placing my hand palm-down on his, sending fire through my body, as he began to lead me to the floor.

"How are you?" I asked him. My mangled emotions were so great I had to strive to contain my own emotions and disconnect from Spock's. I was quite obviously failing, the contact and raging emotions making it nearly impossible. I couldn't tell whose anxiety was whose or whose sadness or whose heartbreak belonged to whose being.

"I am faring well," he said. "Thank you. How are you?"

"I'm fine," I told him.

"'Fine' has variable definitions," he said. "'Fine' is unacceptable."

I chose not to respond, instead pretending to focus on holding my gown. We made it to the dance floor not a moment too soon. We were just in time for one of the most wonderful 21st century songs came on-A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.

We took a step away from each other and I curtsied while he bowed before we began slowly, waltzing in harmony to the song as the words began. When the chorus came, it was like everything else disappeared. I forgot about anyone and everyone, I forgot that I meant to stay within the boundaries of my own heart, my own emotions. I lost myself into the music. We began dancing with a vigor. Slowly, our moves became more elaborate, using our minds to communicate as though we were one being, small twirls turned to spins, and spins turned to lifts, as we soon realized the floor was completely ours-we had room to do whatever we wished.

My skirt flowed as Spock turned me four times before we waltzed again, this time my back to his chest. After several seconds, he held my hand and walked around me, pivoting me as I lifted myself into an arabesque, as though we were a couple in a ballerina snow globe before I gracefully spun out, away from him. I didn't even hear the clapping. I felt his heat behind me again, and I fell into the waltz once again, losing myself in the dance, in the music, and-most of all-in Spock's warm embrace. Electricity coursed through my veins.

It was during that dance, that perfectly executed, perfectly natural four-and-a-half-minute dance, that I had realized something I hadn't ever admitted before-not even to myself.

I didn't just care for this wonderful, beautiful, kind man.

I didn't just love him, either.

I was _in love_ with him.

I was consumed by my emotions, by his emotions, our combined love and admiration for each other mixing with our sadness for the women we loved not being there made our dance all the more passionate, and finally, as the song was beginning to end and I twirled away from him one last time before I turned and leaped at him and he caught me, lifting my onto his forearm as he spun, letting my skirt flare out in a perfectly-executed table-top lift, before he put me down and we were able to face each other fully, almost chest-to-chest as we stared at each other.

Shock, awe, admiration, and utmost love filled me as I looked breathlessly into Spock's equally-loving eyes.

I hadn't even noticed the crowd that had gathered around us clapping and cheering as firey chills overtook me, electricity humming through me, emanating from my hand, and the tingling fire filled me past the brim.

Spock had grasped my hand.

Palm-to-palm.

A Vulcan kiss.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Woah!**

**Okay hey guys! I hope you liked it and PLEASEEEE comment. It means the world to me when you do. I really would like feedback on anything that you like or anything you think needs fixing!**

**Thanks soooo mucho! Until next time!**


	10. Chapter 10-Finale

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Hey so uh y'all probably hate me cause it's been days but in my defense I'm still in the middle of a major mental breakdown so you know... Excuses, excuses. Anyways, I hope you all forgive me and PLEASE lemme know what y'all think! 3**

**ZabuzasGirl: Sorry I took so long! :(**

**Vulcanlover12: I honestly think I will, but if I do it may have to wait for a little bit. My life's beyond hectic right now, but I'm really going to do my best and see what's up and where it goes! :)**

**LostHazel: Hehe I almost cried writing it, it was so wonderful to let my imagination go wild! Don't apologize for having difficulty logging in!**

**Eowyn Ivey: I really think I will! Aww thank you so much! I always really try to put a lot of thought and heart into what I write, so it's amazing to hear you loved it so much! :)**

**~:~:~:~:~**

I had stayed the whole night, waiting for everyone to go home so I could help the remaining staff clean up. The night had gone flawlessly. Everyone had a good time, and everyone danced. I even got Sarek and the rest of the Council to dance. I didn't have much to do as the bar tender had cleaned most of it. There were a few minor things like forgotten gloves and things of the like. It only took me ten minutes to clean up after 500 people. The only person left was the DJ.

I sat down at one of the small tables we had set out and I sighed, placing my head in my hands. I was exhausted.

After my dance with Spock, he practically disappeared. But I'm not one to talk, as I basically did too. I sat at the bar and had another drink with my father, this one a little stronger, in the hopes of forgetting the ordeal a bit.

Unfortunately, I took one sip and felt too disgusted in myself to go on. So I just asked my father for my gloves from my bag and headed off into the crowd. Luckily, he knew not to pester me about the dance he just witnessed after sensing my emotions.

And then for the rest of the night, I was passed between every man in the room at least once that night including Sarek, Scotty, Chekov, Jim, Bones, Sulu, and-surprisingly-my father. I was glad I wore my gloves.

It was a relief to sit down. The first time since the drink I began to sip after my dance with Spock.

But the entire night, no matter who I was with or where I was, I couldn't get the dance I shared with him out of my mind.

And just remembering the kiss we shared made my mind go blank and my heart speed up.

Thinking about it now made my heart swell past the brink. I felt the tears well up once again.

"Amanda, please help me," I begged quietly, laying my head on my arms on the table. "I don't know what to do. Your son, he's-he's my best friend. He's everything to me, but he's _leaving_... but... tonight on the dance floor… I… Amanda, I love him. What do I do?""

The tears came freely now. I was crying freely, sobbing quietly, feeling lost and insecure.

"I wish you were here, Amanda… You were always so happy, and you always knew what to do… What to say… You just _knew_… I miss you so much… You would've gotten along with my mother, you know. You would've gotten her to laugh. I had never seen her laugh," I admitted. "I always wanted her to laugh for me, but she never did. But you would've gotten her to laugh. I know you would've."

"It is illogical to speak to the air as though it is the deceased," I heard from behind me.

"S-Spock!" I gasped, spinning to look at him. After I calmed down a bit I continued. "Perhaps it is not she, but… I miss her. I miss _them_. And I suppose I believed if anyone understood you, it'd be your mother... And I find that imagining she is with me in spirit and talking helps me feel… better."

"I see," he said after a moment. I nodded. I motioned for him to take a seat and he pulled one up.

"How much did you hear?"

"I saw you set your head down and heard the rest from there." I just nodded, not knowing what to say. I felt his eyes on me. Finally, I looked up to him.

"You don't love me too, do you?" I asked him quietly. "Not like that."

He just stood and held his hand out for me once again. This time, his palm was up. I took his hand quietly, painfully aware of my tear-stained face as he led me to the floor.

I don't know _how_ he knew, and frankly I don't _care_ how, but the DJ must have hit play, because the song Iris by the GooGoo Dolls began playing quietly for us to dance to when we were halfway to the floor.

As soon as the lyrics began, we began another waltz. Our movements were completely in sync, and slowly, again, our movements became more and more elaborate. Twirls and spins mixed with our waltzing, and our emotions spun together into a pool of passion and love and adoration as we completed our dance in a much simpler fashion this time.

Our dancing slowed until finally, we stopped at the same time as the music.

Our eyes were stuck on each other's as he slowly leaned in. I leaned forward slightly, standing further onto my toes until our lips met.

I melted into the kiss, my lips and stomach lit on fire as slowly, I wound one of my hands into the hair at the base of his neck. I tightened my grip on the hand that had already been holding his, and electricity shot through my body. Spock moaned lightly into my mouth as I weaved my fingers with his. He moved his free hand to hold me behind my neck, tilting my head slightly as he began kissing me deeper. I felt his love and passion pour into me as I let my love and passion pour into him. I never felt such emotion, and I had never been so content in someone's presence.

Finally, we pulled away from each other, both out of breath.

"I never want you to ask me that question again," Spock said quietly. I nodded, my eyes captured by his. "As I have never felt such emotion as I do when I am with you. I am, and will always be… in love with you."

I captured his lips with my own again, squeezing his hand to my own once more and was once again lost in all of him. Finally, I pulled away, our foreheads still touching.

"I'm so in love with you, Spock," I whispered breathlessly. "But... you are _leaving_. How am I supposed to-"

"I'm not going anywhere," he told me. "You never let me finish what I was saying. I was sad because I missed my mother as well as my home planet, and I was sad that I sent a response to the council. They had asked me of my intentions and I told them I was staying in Starfleet. It was sad to see I would not be a part of rebuilding my planet. I was filled with anxiety and some fear when I saw you because I was afraid of what your reaction would be. I could not leave you, Maeve. You mean more to me than I ever imagined possible."

I was frozen for a moment, trying to process the information. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked up to the man I loved with all of my heart. The man I thought I would never have.

Tears streamed from my eyes again as I practically jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely. When I pulled away, he looked at me, confused.

"Your tears convey sadness-"

"No, Spock," I said with a breathless laugh, taking my arms from his neck and instead holding his hands lightly with my fingers. "I'm happier than I ever have been. I never thought this day would come, I... thank you, Spock. Thank you so much."

"T'hy'la," he murmured, his eyes closed as he pulled me closer, placing his forehead on mine.

"T'hy'la," I murmured back before he squeezed my hand tightly, making me hiss in ecstasy.

"Maeve?" he asked, letting go of my hand, and moving it to brush against my collar bone.

"Yes?" I breathed, my forehead still pressed to his.

"Would you do me the honor of… becoming my t'hy'la?" My eyes shot open.

"You mean… perform a mind-meld?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"Spock… do you understand what that would mean? I, as a Betazoid, can only tie my telepathy to one person as a bond-mate in my _entire_ lifetime, lest they die. If we were to bond telepathically… I would be forever bound to you."

"And that is something I hope for," he admitted.

I couldn't stop the loving smile that made its way onto my face. Slowly I leaned up and kissed him slowly and softly, pouring all of my love and adoration to him.

_To become completely yours would be my honor,_ I whispered to him in the weak telepathic link we could maintain through touch.

Slowly, he lifted his hand to my face.

"My mind to your mind… my thoughts to your thoughts," he chanted quietly before suddenly I was overwhelmed by him.

I was in Spock's mind, surrounded by him.

_This is… amazing,_ I admitted. _Show me something._

_What do you wish to see, t'hy'la?_

_Show me you as a child, _I begged, bracing myself for the emotions and scenes from his past.

_There was a Vulcan boy of eleven. I watched the brilliant child answer many complex questions as slowly, light after light went out, finally leaving only one. The boy-Spock-answered his final question correctly._

_"Your score is 100%. Congratulations, Spock."_

_Spock walks out of the little bowl, only to be confronted by two boys._

_"I presume you've prepared new insults for today," Spock said._

_"Affirmative." _My heart sank. This was it. It's what I had been expecting.

_"This is your 35th attempt to illicit an emotional response from me."_

_You counted them all, _I said through our link sadly. He didn't respond.

_"You're neither Human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe."_

_"Look, his Human eyes. They look sad, don't they?"_

_"Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimulate," the boy said before pushing Spock. "He's a traitor, you know? Your father. For marrying _her_, that human _whore_."_

_I felt Spock's anger, his fury, his deep _hurt_, from the boy's comment as he lunged forward and beat the boy easily._

_That's exactly how you were when Kirk said those terrible things on the ship,_ I told him.

_I felt, in that moment, as though I had progressed very little from when I was a child, _he told me honestly. _I allowed my emotions to control me._

_The memory continued and he sat with his father on a small bench._

_"They called you a traitor," Spock told his father._

_"Emotions run deep within our race. In many ways more deeply than in humans. Logic offers a serenity humans seldom experience. The control of feelings, so that they do not control you."_

_"You suggest that I should be completely Vulcan? And yet you married a Human."_

_"As ambassador to Earth it is my duty to observe and understand Human behavior. Marrying your mother was... logical." Spock thought about it for a moment, several emotions swirling in and out of his heart. "Spock. You are fully capable of deciding your own destiny. The question you face is, which path will you choose? This is something only you can decide."_

_Your mother would be proud, _I told him. _You know she would be. Perhaps not for you beating Jim up, but for allowing your emotions to guide you. That's the balance I learned during meditating upon the emotions I held for you. Let your emotions guide you. But don't let them control you._

_My mother always insisted I stick up for myself._

_And you should, Spock. You should never allow someone to tell you you're not good enough. Because you're… wonderful. I love the path you have chosen. Not completely Vulcan, yet not completely Human. It's… perfect._

_Show me something from your past? _he asked me.

_Like something you just showed me?_

I felt his affirmation and I dug for the first one that came to mind.

_I was sitting in class, 14 years old. It was last period before the day was over. There was a boy, Bryan, who had been my best friend-the _only_ friend I ever had-who was in that class. That day during lunch he told me he hated me. He used to sit next to me. But now he was with the "cool" kids back behind me._

_I ignored everything around me, focusing everything I had onto the teacher, not allowing my emotions get to me as I tucked my heels under my chair. I lightly tugged and pricked at the hem of my uniform skirt with my nails-something I did out of nervous habit. I constantly had to mend my skirts from it._

_We were halfway through the lesson when suddenly I heard someone from behind me call, "Maeve."_

_I turned and pulled a piece of paper from the boy's hand._

_It had Bryan's handwriting. I could recognize that chicken scratch anywhere._

I hate you. You thought we were friends? I sure _hope_ you didn't think it was real. I'm tired of your whining. No one cares about you anyway. You told me you wanted to kill yourself, so do it. I dare you. We all want you to, freak.

_As I was reading the note, I felt the growing haughtiness and heard more and more giggles from behind me. That was when I realized… _Everyone_ helped him write that note. That note was _everyone's_ opinion. They thought it was _funny_. They were sitting back there laughing at me._

_Although I should have been angry, I hadn't been. I wasn't angry at all. Not one bit._

_I was heartbroken and alone. My hands were shaking beyond my control before I was even done reading. I had to set the note flat on the table and hold my hands on my lap in order to finish reading, as my hands were shaking too much for me to continue reading while I held it._

_The words echoed in my mind as I listened to the giggling from behind me._

_I was flushed, anxiety taking over and I felt a sheen of sweat gather on my skin. My hands were shaking too terribly for me to do anything for the rest of class._

_At one point I picked up my pencil to write a response, but I couldn't keep my hand steady enough to write._

_As soon as the bell rang, I bolted past everyone in that school, running full-force to my home._

_I burst in through the front door, unaware of my dad's presence as I swam in anguish._

_Why? Why don't I do it? Why don't I just kill myself? If I go, no one will have to deal with me anymore. __That's what they want, isn't it? That's what they're hoping for. __My mere _presence_ makes them angry, my mother can't even handle me, my father… he's always hurting, always sad, when I told him things._

_That was when I came to the conclusion I would be better off dead._

_"_Maeve_!" my dad burst into my room. He looked at me fearfully and I felt his mixture of fear and sadness. "Maeve, you are _never_ to think like that again."_

_"Dad? What are you doing home?"_

_"I always come home early the days when your mother takes off for Vulcan," he reminded me. I suddenly felt rather sheepish for forgetting._

_"Maeve, Barim," my mother greeted. "What is the matter? I heard raised voices."_

_"Mother, it's nothing-"_

_"Your daughter was seconds from killing herself," my father said. I felt tears prick my eyes as shame filled me. "She was bullied again, though I'm not sure by whom, and she rushed upstairs, brokenhearted."_

_There was silence for a long while._

_"Hurry," my mother told me. "You're coming with me to Vulcan. Sarek shall teach you meditation. Perhaps that will help guide you."_

I pulled us both from the memory and Spock took his hand from my face, tears in his eyes.

_You…_

I looked down, shameful of my past. I didn't know what to say as Spock's hand made its way back to my chin, pulling my face back to his as he used his unoccupied arm to pull me close.

_You will never feel like that ever again. This I swear to you._

And with that, I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him as heatedly as he was kissing me.

_You're everything to me, Spock. Without you… I don't know what I would do…_

_I love you, t'hy'la._

_I love you too, my darling._

~:~:~:~:~

"This assembly calls captain James Tiberius Kirk," The chair began as I stood at my spot next to Bones. "Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades is in keeping with the highest traditions of service. And reflect utmost credit to yourself, your crew and the Federation. It is my honor to award you with this commendation. By Starfleet order 28455, you are hereby directed to report to admiral Pike USS Enterprise, for duty as his relief." I stood watching my friend as he turned to Commander Pike, a proud grin on my face.

"I relieve you, sir," Jim said calmly, pride written all over his face.

"I am relieved."

"Thank you, sir."

"Congratulations, Captain. Your father would be proud of you."

Feeling Jim's happiness, his pride and dedication, tugged at my heart as we all clapped for our new Captain. If anyone deserved the honor, it was Jim.

And now it was my turn. As soon as this meeting was adjourned, I was to be deemed _Commander_ O'Grady.

I was able to give Jim my praise quickly before my meeting was adjourned. I caught Spock's eye on my way back into the hall.

_Do not be nervous, t'hy'la. You have the position. All you need to do is accept._

_Then do I get a celebratory kiss when we make our way to the ship?_ I felt him smirk before I saw it.

_Perhaps._

"This assembly calls upon Lieutenant Maeve Avarin Mitrani O'Grady. Your valor, dedication, integrity, and academia within the Academy had prompted us as a board to rule that this is a reflection of the honesty, purity, and love within your heart and within your character. Because of this, we have decided to officially bestow upon you the title and responsibility as a Commander of Starfleet. Do you accept this responsibility?"

"I accept," my voice rang throughout the hall.

"Congratulations, Commander."

"Thank you, sir."

There were resounding cheers all around the room as I looked around, grinning as I caught the eyes of Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, Jim, and-most of all-Spock.

I never knew I could be so happy.

~:~:~:~:~

"Thrusters on full," Sulu reported.

"Entering thrusters and impulse engines at your command, sir."

"Weapon systems and shields on standby. Dock control reports ready, Captain," I reported.

"Bones?" I heard Jim ask. "Buckle up. Scotty, how we doin'?"

"Dilithium chambers at maximum Captain!"

"Mr. Sulu, prepare to engage thrusters."

"Permission to come aboard, Captain," I heard Spock's voice.

"Permission granted."

"As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully I would like to submit my candidacy. Should you desire I can provide character references."

Jim grinned, "it would be my honor commander. Maneuvering thrusters Mr. Sulu." I walked up to Spock.

"You know, I still haven't got my congratulations," I teased aloud. He turned to look at me and I pulled him by his shirt to kiss me. He placed his hands on my waist to steady himself. I wasn't aware of everyone staring until after Spock and I finished our mini-makeout and I made my way back to my seat, feeling Spock's hidden pride. _Much better,_ I praised in my mind. I felt everyone's amusement as I went back to my work.

"Thrusters on standby," Sulu reported. I could hear the smile in everyone's voices.

"Take us out."

"Aye aye, Captain."

And we were off.

**~:~:~:~:~**

**Guys, I have to write a sequel.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! And _please_ read this next few paragraphs. It's long but it's something I really hope you guys read. It's very important to me.**

**Thank you so much for sticking with me through all this... I really poured my heart into this, and the experience Maeve shared with Spock made me cry. Believe it or not, something _very_ similar happened to me once when I was a Freshman in high school, except it was the first boy I thought I was in love with, not my best friend. I didn't have many friends-maybe 1 or 2. He was the _only_ boy I ever thought I loved aside from the man I'm with today (who I _know_ I'm in love with).**

**And when I got home, my parents were too preoccupied, dealing with my bipolar sister to realize how much pain I was in. It was the first time I made an attempt at my life. But I'm _not_ telling you this for pity, because I realized life is _so_ much more than I gave it credit for-even though that was the last thing I could see. To me, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. And to be honest, nothing changed. Everything stayed pretty much the same except I changed the few friends I had to friends who were worth the time and I changed my thinking. It took a lot of time and effort, but here I am, _3 years_ later, and _much_ better than before.**

**I just want you all to know that if you're bullied and alone and you don't know why, it's _not_ you. People are mean-especially when they're younger, and one day you'll understand that you're worth the world and so much more. And if you're ever depressed or sad or upset, please never hesitate to get help. You may feel weak or worthless, but that is _never_ true. And never convince yourself you are. Maybe you like privacy or maybe you are ashamed of the cuts you inflict upon yourself or the pain you've dragged yourself through (I know I was) but there's always someone who understands and it's _ALWAYS_ a choice-_your_ choice-to move forward and get help. You have power. Because you _are_ strong, you _are_ worth it, and _even_ when you don't feel it, you _are_ loved. And one day, you'll see that. You just have to give the world a chance.**

**Again, I thank you all so much for reading all of this and let me know what you think about a sequel!**

**Much love,**

**Em 3**


End file.
